Uncomfortable Feelings

I feel so monogamous, and the feeling is weird... Every day I feel less and less willing to mess around with other people, or anyone actually. This has kinda been happening ever since the beginning of the school year. I found myself flirting less and less with the guys at school (cept for one, haha). I dunno, I guess its a good thing, but its obviously going to cause lots of problems and upset people. But this isn't the first time I've drifted to feeling more monogamous... I just kinda hope this time it sticks. I'm sick of drifting from one boy to the next. Its almost painful, and I couldn't stand it much longer, so I suppose this is a good break. I feel like even if I stop feeling the need to be monogamous, I still want to keep more to myself and not flirt around with all the guys. I don't mind being the flirty chick, but I really don't like seeing myself as the one who messes around with all the guys. So yeah... I'll wait and see what happens with that

New Post?

Ugh I feel bad about my sporadic updating of this blog! But I really don't have much I want to share with the general public about my life right now... and I probably wont until Christmas.... I mean obviously ridiculous and amazing things are going on right now, but I can't really talk about it on here for far too many reasons.

With me being on vacation now, nothing is really going on... so I can't say I'll update soon, but if I think of something I'll post it.... sorry this isn't a legit blog guys! >.>

ILU

So I realized something today... well I realized 2 things, but I'll only get into the happy one, haha.

So my friend said this to me today after I made a hilarious and perrrfect sexual joke
"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA sarah ilu lol"

I dunno, something about a friend saying I love you... makes me really happy, because obviously they don't mean love love, but its a step up from just liking me as a normal friend. As if they now like me enough to specifically show that they like me enough (if that makes sense). It was more clear when I thought it in my head. It made me feel good today ^_^

Okay I can't type much more, Dusty is scratching me painfully for attention, haha...

Gay Marriage Bill Shot Down in New York Senate

(I wrote this article for the school paper, please read and comment)

On Wednesday, December 2^nd the New York State Senate voted on a measure that would make gay marriage legal in New York. After 2 hours of debate, the measure was voted down, 38 to 24. The bill’s sponsor was Sen. Tom Duane, the only openly gay member of the Senate.

Advocates said that some Republicans who were open to the idea voted no because they were fearful of a conservative black lash. Others referenced the bad economy as a reason for keeping many Republicans who may have been sympathetic to the cause from voting for gay marriage, stating their primary focus to be on the fiscal crisis, and not gay marriage.

All 30 Republicans and 8 Democrats voted against the bill. Previously, the bill had been passed 3 times in the Assembly, but rejected in the Senate. Of those who voted no, only Sen. Ruben Diaz stood up during the debate to explain his vote publicly. On the Senate floor he said, "If you put this issue before the voters, the voters will reject it. Let the people decide."

Governor Paterson, who had pushed for the vote in the Senate even though the bill’s fate was uncertain, made a rare trip to the Senate floor to support the bill. He even pledged to sign the bill if it was passed. Other Senators stood before the floor and told their stories, including Sen. Ruth Hassel Thompson, who revealed for the first time that she had a gay brother that had been shunned by her family and forced to live overseas, while her minister sister was opposed to gay marriage. Others took the floor to tell stories of friends and relatives who were gay and had been unable to marry.

Gay marriage opponents were shocked and pleased by not only the win for upholding the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman but for winning with a larger-than-expected margin. The bill needed 32 votes to pass, but instead failed by 8 votes. Jason McGuire, executive director of New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms stated, “Today was a good day for marriage in New York.”

After the vote, Paterson said Wednesday was one of his saddest days in 20 years of public service. Senator and sponsor of the bill, Thomas Duane, expressed his anger and disappointment, stating “I wasn’t expecting betrayal.” Some supporters of the bill saw the whole event in a more positive light. Alan Van Capelle, executive director of the Empire Pride Agenda, and a leading proponent of the bill stated, "We certainly know who are friends. We certainly go to bed tonight knowing more about where our support is, and that's a victory."

Following the vote, protests were held across the state, including one in New York City that night, and one in Albany at the capital the following Thursday. Around 150 people showed up to protest the Senate vote, holding signs and chanting late into the night.

New York is now one of 31 other states that has shot down a gay marriage bill, with Gay marriage being legal in Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts and Vermont. A New Hampshire law takes effect Jan. 1.

GAY TREE

I found a gay tree, LOOK..... how faaaabulous

also I WON the debate tournament (for public forum).... won every round in fact! I was pretty amazing *hugs trophy*

also also the dance was beyondddd amazing

p.s. I'm on the phone with seth... he's making me type this lol

Foodly Endeavors

So tonight I wasn't feeling so well, so I decided to see if a little snack would cheer my tummy up. Lo and behold I see the goat cheese I bought the other day sitting in the refrigerator. So, I toast me up some bread (for lack of a single cracker) and cut it into squares. I then spread the cheese on each piece. Its soft like butter, but not creamy. I would compare it to soap shavings (if you've ever carved a bar of soap) in appearances, except slightly more mixed together... so maybe if you tried to squish those shavings back together, haha.

It didn't smell too bad, so I brought it up to my room for a taste! Now I have to say, my face after the first bite was probably a kodac moment. It didn't taste bad, as much as it was the strangest and STRONGEST flavor I've ever encountered. I almost couldn't swallow it, but I couldn't tell why. Like I said, it didn't seam to taste bad, but it was almost so strong a flavor, I couldn't handle it.

Needless to say as you can tell by the picture, I could not rally up enough spirit to finish off the toast. My recomondation to you, try it for yourself... but get the smallest container of goat cheese you can find! XD

I have no regrets, but damn, that flavor is still sitting in my mouth *convulses*

New video

New video uploadededed.... Christmas related... kinda

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46BNPd-pO1Y

DELICIOUS

So I've recently had the most delicious thing known to man... it is meatless chicken... it is MORE DELICIOUS than chicken.... seriously

Its made mostly from egg... I grilled it up and ate it plane.... it was heaven

Thank you, that is all

Programming Class

So basically we were messing around with this program we were given in class. We had to create a 4th Baking account (the first three already being there) so we could mess around with it and see what happens. This blog is basically just a short shout out (look at the name used).... this is only relevant to one person, haha

Another coincidental moment!

So I really enjoy carbonated juice beverages... and so I bought a 4 pack of this stuff, Unavailable Me, or something like that... anyway

I was reading the can and it says this...

You are many different
things rolled into a
one-of-a-kind individual.
You can be energetic,
reflective, outgoing, mood,
surprising, and unashamed.
You don't fit a category -
you are unique. Now there is
a beverage as natural and refreshing as you. Welcome
to the new
ME

the last Me being the me in the name (it has a fancy font and everything)... it was so clever, and it seemed like it was MADE for me... like seriously, I got giddy just reading it <3

Plus its delicious, which is always a plus, haha

Coincidence?

Okay so today I went to the grocery store... and not 10 minutes after we get there I see Margaret, from shaker. For some reason I totally love her, we have "history" in that we were best friends during lacrosse and I do believe shared a specccial moment at A Prom 2 years ago. So ya, we talked a lil, but I couldn't lose the family, so I had to walk away.

Then, shortly there after, I saw Ellory from Academy. She's a really cool freshie who's good friends with my ex-wifey Clara <3.... we only said hi, then went our separate ways...

THEN.... only a few minutes after, I see an older gentleman walking away from us, and to my utter surprise, its my grandfather! Like okay how weird is that?! First of all I didn't know any of these ppl lived near me (tho I suppose Margaret went to my public school so she has to be somewhat local). But the rest was crazy....

I love coincidences... I was just praying I'd see someone else I know.... *sigh* if only :P

Rememory

(rememory being a reference to Beloved by Toni Morrison)

So this morning I had two frees... and in between studying for chemistry, I kept suffering from some unfortunate nostalgia.

I can hear it now, the phrases you always said... "Stop it!"
Or when you'd kinda slide up to me and put your hands on my hips with that fake pouting kinda look on your face you'd always use when I was being obstinate...

Ugh, I gotta focus on something else
~~ BL ~~
(aka boys love, the proper Japanese term... so don't ask again blog readers, kay? lol)

Short yet.... Bitter

If I have to stay in this house much longer.... well I'm not sure I can

I need an escape

My Chemical Romance (so you know its imporant)

So recently I've been thinking about the upcoming (sorta) My Chemical Romance album... The Black Parade came out in 2006, so its been over 3 years since that release, and the new one wont be out until far into 2010... most people say its a long wait, but honestly its flown by for me cuz I <3 them so much...

But with this new album drawing ever closer, I've been having some doubts... the little snippets of their songs I heard on youtube were so... normal... so... mainstream sounding.

Gerard way was quoted saying that another major creative turn for them is in becoming “an American rock band instead of a British rock band.”

But in Life on the Murder Scene (their old old old documentary thing), Gerard said that MCR was an "Anti-Rock-and-Roll" band... which I loved! I loved how their alternative and non-conformist music made me feel better to be unique. I can't say they've sold out, because they can do whatever they want, plus the album isn't even out yet.... but it just seems like with most things, MCR has grown out of that awesome emo/angsty/anti-popular phase... and with that change, my life has lost some of its meaning

:(

here's to wishing the album to be much more amazing than my pessimistic mind is foretelling *chugs iced tea*

Grrr

My father.... just came up to me.... and started a conversation about how he saw the movie Milk on tv a few days ago.... and I'm like, oh cool that movie was amazing...

Somehow... we got into the topic of... why people hate the gays

My father literally said that "the gays" have a problem with rampant sex, and that's why a lot of people wont accept them. Also that he must be correct and gays are having sex all the time because they all have AIDS.

Even if there is any truth behind his words... the way he said it, as if gay people were sexual deviants who needed to be stopped... I just... I.... don't want to live anywhere near this man ever again...

He went on to say that even if he believes in leaving people alone to do whatever they want, he doesn't have to agree with it or not be disgusted by it. He basically came upstairs to have a conversation with me about how much he gets grossed out about the gays and how he doesn't like them... really father, really?

He KNOWS how I feel about this stuff, I even said I thought Milk was a great movie... yet he casually goes about insulting and degrading gay people as a whole, including the movie, right to my face. It hurt me that he things what he's saying is okay, that he isn't even trying to be mean, that he thinks he's SOOOO PROGRESSIVE... when really he's nothing but scum...

I can't WAIT to get off to college and bring me back a woman and shove it in ALL of their faces...

Also, mother was fantastic to me... she talked to me until I felt better... plus she explained her beliefs on homosexuals, which was a lot better than his. She thinks they are people, they are normal, they are not committing a crime or anything. It grosses her out a little bit, but so does the fact that the French don't shave. She accepts that it isn't WRONG, and thats the first step. Also, because she has me as a daughter (tehe), she says she actually waves on the issue of gay marriage.... my mother, the crazy religious lady is now WAVERING on the issue? How fantastic, I'm really starting to wear her down, mwahaha...

Well anyway, I just needed to end on a slightly happier note... cuz what father said didn't just make me angry, it made me really sad, and made my stomach feel sick >.<

Asian Market... AGAIN

So today after piano, mother said we could go to the Asian Supermarket, huzzah! Its been a while since we've gone, and we decided to just GO for it and buy a crap ton of things... so once again I'm here with pictures and descriptions of what I got!

This was dinner: Fried Rice


This was my dinner treat: Sesame ball


This was what was inside it... REALLY DELICIOUS


These are the beverages I bought, from left to right: Yogurt flavored drink, Milk Tea, and Hello Kitty Brand Ramune


Carrot juice! Cuz I've always wanted to try some


Small rice balls, you boil in water then eat!


Most of these are self explanatory... This is mango mochi ice cream... I'll update later with how they taste


A box of red bean mochi and assorted "Japanese" mochi... as if there were other kinds


We have melon flavored cakes on the left, and custard filled buns on the right


From top to bottom: Honey Dew Melon Cake, Papaya cake, and moreee Honey Dew Melon cake. Two of these we got for free because of some deal they had going.


Mother got the chocolate macadamia nuts, I got the yellow bag of mixed fruit chips, and the bar of strawberry filled chocolate


Now THIS... is a sweet topped bun... and is the most delicious thing that was ever created in Japan


Tada, thats basically what I got! Mother had a few other things that I dont feel like taking pictures of, haha...

As I try things, I'll post another blog about it...

NYC <3

WARNING: This post is going to be really long and possibly obnoxious!!

Anyway.... so today I went to NYC with my mother as a day trip today. Woke up at 5AM to catch a 7:30 train. Sat on that for almost exactly two hours. Sadly, my morning was filled with horrible stomach pains and feeling the need to expel my meager breakfast on anything and anyone. Thankfully by the time we reached the city I was feeling remarkably better, excited and happy actually. In fact, I was so excited for the day I think I talked mother's ears off (that happens when I get excited).

Our first stop was the Met, or the Metropolitan Museum of Art (not the opera). We were there for two reasons, see the exhibit on Vermeer and his painting The Milkmaid (on lone from the Netherlands) and to see this exhibit called The Art of the Samurai <3

So the Vermeer part was pretty cool, the Met put The Milkmaid up next to the other 7 of their Vermeer paintings. There were security guards everywhere tho, it was really funny. I loved the painting tho... but we couldn't spend much time there because we had only about an hour and soooo much Japanese things to seeeeee! Also I couldn't take pictures or anything guys, no pictures of paintings apparently.

Anyyyyway, the good part. Mother and I rushed upstairs to the Art of the Samurai exhibit. It was really amazing. They had a few rooms full of swords of all kinds from different periods and such. They also had full body armor, wall scrolls, fans, and other assorted samurai type objects. I was freaking out the whole time, rushing from one thing to the other, but finding myself drooling over each case. I got really excited when I seemed to know some things before even reading the cards, including the basics of how swords are made in Japan. Which I did of course recount in full to mother, haha. She was distrubed and frightened/confused at my wealth of knowledge on Japanese swords, to which I smiled and said.... oh don't worry about how I learned this stuff, hahaha. To which she only looked more worried :P ANYWAY, pics!



At the end of that exhibit, I bought a few things. I got a CD called Music of Japan (of course it turns out I have some of that music already). Its basically classical Japanese music <3
Then I bought Training the Samurai Mind: A Bushido Sourcebook, an ornate fan for a friend, and The Hidden Fortress by Akira Kurosawa DVD

Also, when we ate lunch in the cafeteria, I got a frosted pumpkin cookie... SCORE

After THAT, we made our way to the NYU campus to see a play... excuse me, I made my way, mother followed. The play was from Japan... called Talk Like Singing.... and it was.... AMAZING OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG *freaks out and dies* Like it was so perfect how they kept a lot of the original Japanese, but made it so us English peeps could understand (tho I did end up doing some HORRIBLE and rudimentary translating for mother at the parts they didn't do in English). An example would be where these two doctors are arguing, and they bring out two long electronic screens (on wheels basically) that had the English going across it as they spoke. Well as they kept going faster and faster, the machines starting to make horrible noises, and spark/smoke, and eventually break down completely at the end of the scene, spewing random bits of English... it was so funny! Or another time, they did this whole cute scene between two main characters, and at the end (with mother and I having NO idea what was going on besides frogs were somehow involved)... the English speaking doctor/narrator steps on stage and says to the two.... HOLD ON A MINUTE, for our English speaking audience members, you two sound like total gibberish, do it again, BUT IN ENGLISH.... and the two do the whole scene again in English... it was so funny!

I wont get into the details of the plot, but trust me it was amazing... plus did I mention it was a musical? So I basically got to hear this really HOT and amazing actor sing in Japanese.... right in front of me.... omg I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven, it was almost too much.... and he was SO HOT! Arghhh (I know I said that twice already) BUT ANYWAY....



OUT OF THE BLUE, I saw this lady wearing a yukata... so I asked her if it was okay for me to get a picture with her, then we talked about my ridiculous love of Japan. I swear to god my heart was racing so bad and I was blushing like a tomato... omg I couldn't even contain myself... I realized then that I have a real issue if someone wearing a yukata makes me turn into a giggling little girl, haha...


After the play, we went looking around, and I saw this shop with Japanese writing on it, so mother and I went exploring!


It turned out to be a clothing store... pretty cool, expect besides the occasional Japanese, the clothes were no different (if not more boring) than any clothes store I've been to


Until you saw the price tag on these shirts, and the rest of the stuff... one of these shirts you see pictured here will set you back around $130... yeah seriously....


I swear I saw certain jackets that were over $300... I wanted to cry... Anyway, our next stop was this amazing two story Borders... which turned out to be no better than our one story Borders in the mall. They had a Japanese history section that took up half a shelf... they didn't even have a whole shelf for the gay section... and the manga was devoid of all yaoi -_-

I ended up buying L: Change the World (OMG YES ITS A BOOK NOW!) AND My Loose Thread, some gay horror book... mreh



Then I saw this... and was like OMG FUSE HAS A STORE?!? (for those who don't know, Fuse is a music channel on tv for alternative rock).... and upon further inspection I realized it was not a store... it was just a random advertisement taking up wall space... go figure...



Oh yeah, the words on the ground moved...


Then for dinner I spotted this little jem of a food establishment.




Everything was organic... you could get these amazing flat bread pizzas (with maybe 5 different vegetarian options)... a rang of sandwiches (including falafel patty!) and a personalized salad bar where a man would put shiz together in a chopped salad for you. I got Asian lettuce combo, with Avocado, Chinese noodles, mushrooms, apples, and oranges with Japanese Ginger dressing.... BEST.... SALAD.... EVER. Mother was profusely thankful for me spotting this place (also her salad was too boring to explain).

After this meal, we hopped back on the train and I arrived back home at 10pm! And here I am, at 11:47... still blogging and updating itunes with my shiznasty new music <3
(If you've made it all the way through my blog, then I love you <3)

(tho not as much as Kenji ^_- )

Quicky

If you haven't seen them yet, here's the link... 6 REAL spam messages I've gotten as spam emails
(click to enlarge)

Back in Pitt

So today my family and I flew into Pittsburgh (instead of driving like last time). We had to take two plane rides, the first one stopping in Maryland and the second to Pittsburgh. I'll upload some pics (and maybe video?) from my plane rides... I was wayyy too fascinated. I think I looked out the window for around 30 minutes straight, haha. Also I finished an Anne Rice book, so I'm really happy.... but I want the next in the series!! Ugh, so tired *naps*

Well anyway, I missed having internet... so I guess I'm just glad to be back on the computer. Oh yeah, so a few amazing things happened to me today.

Firstly, I saw a flight attendant that had a Star Trek com badge, you know the ones that look like an A they wear on their uniforms? Super fantastic... in fact, the crew was making jokes and such the whole second flight, saying we were going to Orlando and other stuff like that.

Then on the plane I met a girl staying in the same hotel and going to the same sleeping bag weekend at CMU as me... we got along well, agreeing that children suck and that we both have a foreign language we love. She was also way manish...

The best part was when we got to the hotel... there were two guys working behind the counter, and the one I talked to was Mark...oh Mark *heart* He said he could tell I was here for CMU just by looking at me (which was cool). We talked for a while when mother had to go help father outside with the cab. He was so nice and fun and interesting and everything! We talked about soooo many things, I just wana be legit friends with him, hehe.... I wont get too into it cuz I'm tired... and I still have a lot to do tonight. So yeay! Pictures!!






Ahh so omg we saw those flat escalators at the airport (I'm not sure what else to call them). They move slower than most people walk, but if you walk ON it, you freakin SPEED by.... it was so much fun, in fact, that I took them whenever possible... it was great <3

So I'm like in such a shitty mood. I swear to god if all this drama keeps up I'm NOT going online any more... every single guy AND girl I know seems to be starting some kind of drama... be it in school or online or over texting... its like a constant flood of retarded drama. Also I found out Caitlin has been talking to her (gay) guy friend Seamus on a constant basis... while she says we can't date cuz she wont be around to talk to me?!?! Really now... I totally believe you.... I wasn't going to put any blame on her at all...but now I cant help but think maybe she had other reasons for ending it...but WHATEVER

ugh I'm seriously really pissed off... like I'm now in a worse mood tonight than last night

God this is the worst... I was finally starting to feel a little better and now I feel like vomiting... really thanks everyone, thanks... you've brought back my physical feelings of illness



P.S. Remmy you're a doll <3

Din-dins

Okay so for dinner tonight I had lentils and rice... upon looking up lentils, I realize that I've probably eaten the most healthy dinner I could ever eat (as a vegetarian). Lentils are considered one of the 5 healthiest foods in the world. And as the wiki said "Lentils are often mixed with grains, such as rice, which results in a complete protein dish." So now I'm eating healthy AND getting a crap load of protein (of which I'm afraid I haven't been getting enough of lately). If only I was more hungry, I'd stuff my face with the stuff... but as you can imagine its not that delicious either. Although I did mix mine with apple sauce under mother's recommendation, and dayum that was yummy.

Hmm did I have anything else important to say? Oh yeah, in case you didn't notice, tho I'm trying to tell everyone... yes I AM single...yes it was for the best, and yes I'll be perfectly okay.

Ugh time for the homework I've been putting off until now >.>

One thing leads to another

So today we stopped at Claire's today to buy one pair of earrings, for my halloween costume... we ended up leaving with a bill of $80! How does this keep happening to me? Oh well, I got some AMAZING stuff, of which you will now see... get ready!!!
(click on picture for a bigger version)

Black choker with pink bow and studded bracelete

random necklace

black and orange tiara

Zebra ears (for a friend, inside joke)

Checkered glasses and skull hair clips

different earrings...lol

Okay so I'm really upset cuz life is pretty angsty right now...and I really dont LIKE angsty.

Guys, girls, close friends, distant friends, people I like, people I don't like...everyone adds to the angst in some way (including me)... I'm just tired of it (again). I dunno, too much drama happens to me and I don't know why. Too many conflicting emotions and all.... sorry I really can't get any more specific. Say one problem out loud, someone reads it, and now you have a million other problems.

Blah and mother is only making it worse by being RETARDED.....grrrrr....

On an unrelated note...I realize I really like hugs... not like girly meaningless hugs, but I mean like...extended, long, and comforting hugs. I almost feel like I live off them these days.... its a really weird turn in my personal preference, but meh. Also, I use too many of these "..." and too many alsos, anddd too many parenthetical statements. Haha, oh well?

On another note...I realize I care a lot more for my friends now than I ever have before. Like I get extra worried when friends are upset or acting strange. I used to not even notice let alone care too much... now its like the most important thing to me. I suppose thats a good thing tho... haha more of that beautiful ellipsis!

Bleh I should probably do homework now...oh yeah and I really did pass out last night while texting, funny that :P

Random Update?

Yo duuudes, I've been a vegetarian for a really long time now haven't I...haha...I can't remember the exact days, tho I probably have it written down...its basically been a month and a half by this point... yeay? Haha I don't really feel like its an accomplishment, more like I'm finally doing what I should have been doing already.

Now if only the rest of my life could be so easy... *emo corner*

Actually, I'm in a much better mood now than I was 2 hours ago... thanks to three really good friends <3

Time to text navy boy and lay in bed till I pass out

POST #2... the fight?

So today something crazy happened...I think I got in my first fight... I mean it started out kinda jokingly, but I'm pretty sure it was more legit as time went on. Or even if it wasn't a fight, it was kinda like wrestling with your sibling, cept with someone you hate and is THANKFULLY not related to you, haha...so here's my story!

Also, of course I can't tell on her, since I obviously fought back, so ya...don't bother with that suggestion, lol... and don't forget to read the blog before this!

daisukiotaku (6:46:15 PM): so this girl on my soccer team

daisukiotaku (6:46:30 PM): made a comment of which I cannot remember, I only remember what I said

daisukiotaku (6:46:51 PM): which is, well maybe its because you look like a man

daisukiotaku (6:46:59 PM): I was joking, but she really does look like a man

daisukiotaku (6:47:04 PM): so she jumps at me and puts me in a headlock

daisukiotaku (6:47:22 PM): so I fight her back until I wriggle free, I semi-punched her in the side so she'd let go

daisukiotaku (6:47:28 PM): but then she grabs my phone and runs off with it

daisukiotaku (6:47:32 PM): and starts going through the messages

daisukiotaku (6:47:35 PM): so I chase after her

daisukiotaku (6:47:40 PM): put HER in a head lock

daisukiotaku (6:47:47 PM): wrangle her to the ground

daisukiotaku (6:47:50 PM): still holding her neck

daisukiotaku (6:47:53 PM): till she gives it back

daisukiotaku (6:48:15 PM): then I walk back and sit on the couches (this is in like the main area of our gym, its really nice with couches and shit)

daisukiotaku (6:48:28 PM): then she comes over and grabs the back of my neck, squeezing

daisukiotaku (6:48:32 PM): digging her nails into my throat

daisukiotaku (6:48:34 PM): which really hurt

daisukiotaku (6:48:47 PM): but I ignored her (even tho I was a half second away from tears cuz it hurt so much)

daisukiotaku (6:48:50 PM): so she got bored and stopped

daisukiotaku (6:49:10 PM): then maybe 20 seconds later she jumps at me again and choke holds me, agaaain

daisukiotaku (6:49:14 PM): so I dig my nails into her arm

daisukiotaku (6:49:19 PM): which gets her to let go for a second

daisukiotaku (6:49:29 PM): till she comes at me from behind with an even sronger head lock

daisukiotaku (6:49:32 PM): cept this time I cant breath

daisukiotaku (6:49:34 PM): and she says

daisukiotaku (6:49:38 PM): TAKE IT BACK OR I WONT LET GO

daisukiotaku (6:49:48 PM): and I try really really hard not to say anything to appease her

daisukiotaku (6:49:57 PM): but I couldn't really breath and it was really starting to hurt

daisukiotaku (6:50:04 PM): so I sadly had to say, I take it back I take it back!

daisukiotaku (6:50:06 PM): and ya

daisukiotaku (6:50:08 PM): then I went home

Thoughts

So today is a blog about my thoughts instead of what is actually going on...tho I will start it out with a few updates....

Today I bought MIDNIGHT hair dye (basically its black)...but I cant use it till saturday night cuz I'm getting my passport picture taken saturday. Oh wait, thats all I wanted to say on that...anyway

So you know how say you like someone...but they don't like you back... you eventually move on right? (well usually) Then you stop liking that person and when you meet up with them later on, you (hopefully) have no romantic feelings for them any more. Well I don't seem to work that way. I never noticed this until today basically, but I never stop liking people. If I actually liked someone at one point, that never goes away. I mean I may like other people more than them, hence why our relationships wouldn't work out, but I never stop liking them.

It makes sense to me. I mean assuming the person doesn't change that much, no matter how much time you spend away from someone, they're still that same person you fell for, and I would fall for them just the same. I think this contributes to why I can't hold a stable relationship, because at one point in my life I can like multiple people at the same time (I've liked 4 people all at the same time, and its probably been more than that at one point).

Some people might say, oh well you just have to wait for the right person to come along to make you stop liking other people...but why would that happen? Just cuz I've found an amazing person doesn't make other people less attractive or less cool or fun or whatever it was that I liked about them. I mean of course if I meet someone I really REALLY like and maybe love, then it would be worth ignoring all the others so I could be dedicated to that one person....but until then does that mean I have to put up with liking too many people at once? This is not an issue I can just ignore...I mean I "lead guys on" only to move on to another guy...but its not a lie! I really did like them, and I really do like the next one, and the next and the next.... I dunno this is starting to make me seem like a sorta bad person and now no one will want to date me (thank god that's already covered).

I think its a really good idea for me to take a break from boys right now...so Caitlin is probably the best thing to happen to me in a long time...and I hope more than anything else that somehow with her being the only girl I like, I can understand better what its like to commit... but meh, I'm not off to the best of starts.... we shall see how it goes...until then I promise to take extra good care of my woman <3

Thanks for reading about my rambling guys >.<

also, for future reference, I call caitlin yome, cuz that means "my woman" in Japanese

*turns the classical music up*

SHOPPING

Okay so today after soccer (which really wasn't soccer at all) I went out to Hot Topic with mother... we really just went to the mall to go costume shopping for Halloween... now I know I said I was going to be a nurse, and that that had MAJOR sex appeal, but honestly none of the costumes were appropriate enough for me to actually wear them in public (which seems a waste right?).

So yeah, new costume is really fantastic... I'll tell you I'm kinda the queen of hearts, but you wont get to see it until I take pictures for the Halloween dance at school (on the 30th).

Actually, we bought so much stuff, the bill came up to over $150... thats after a $25 discount, haha. Mother says I have to pay for half...meaning $75....meaning I'm about to become rather poor (aka broke)... but its really worth it :D

I'm in such a great moooood now...but I want it to be halloweeen alreadyyyy so I can wear my costumeeeeee *giggles*


Also, what made my day really was the lady who worked there. She was really nice and really helpful. I mean we were in the store for 45 minutes, trying on 4 different costumes, 3 pairs of shoes, and basically needing help with so many things... and yet she was beyond nice every time. In fact, when we finally bought the stuff, the store was empty, so we had a talk with her. It seems she remembers me, cuz I made a really huge purchase last year for my birthday party and stuff. Also, the lady said she was really glad to see someone like me who shopped so much at hot topic...by "someone like me" she meant that someone who looked totally normal by main stream standards (I was in soccer clothes). It was just a really great moment, because my mother admitted that the people who worked at Hot Topic were much nicer than those who worked at any other store she'd been in at the mall. I felt like I was home again, I LOVE YOU HOT TOPIC!!

P.S. they're starting a new plastic card thing, like a members card... its free to get one and every time you use it, you get points. These points add up over time, and you get cash for them. The best part is...you get 10 free points for just stopping in. They'll swipe your card even if you don't buy anything. The more points you accumulate, the higher the payback value. This'll really help me, since I'm spending hundreds of dollars there. Literally I walk in the store, look down at myself, and realize I'm wearing nothing but hot topic brand stuff.... its really funny, haha

Anyway, I really gotta get back to homework XD

Video compleeeete

Okay so yeay, I finally finished my birthday video to Seth. And yes, I finished it the day before his birthday, but geeze gimmie a break I've been busy lol

Here's the link
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xau7pf_seths-birthday-video

Also today is the day of my sleepover with Caitlin <3
Ian and her friend Shay will also be there, seriously its gunna rock

Sorry for all the short blogs, but I'm so busy these days! Plus, I've been trying to transfer all my contacts onto my new phone, and its taking hours, seriously.... Oh well!

NEW CELL PHONE!

So I have a sexy new cell phone...I'm really excited...here are pics (obviously not of my actual phone, but of the phone I got)


The awesome thing is...they said it'd take 4-5 days to activate it...well it took only 4 hours <3

So ya, I'm drooling over it...and watching The Mighty Boosh of course.

ALSO TOMORROW IS MY SLEEPOVER WITH CAITLIN hehe XD

no time to blog more, I have a present to makeee