Hey guys, I'm officially switching BACK to my wordpress blog... I'm sick of how shitty blogger is. Did you know I can't type a less than symbol? That means no "less than three" hearts! Plus, I can't copy paste anything into a blog entry. Also, when I add photos to this blog, it puts the photos at the top of the page... ABOVE anything i may have typed instead of at the place my cursor was at (and that was endlessly annoying). So I've been working for a good part of this morning reorganizing. I'm creating an archives page on my wordpress blog so you can easily click on any blog post from either blog based on the date. I've got all my blogger blogs in the archives, but I still have to add in all the wordpress blogs.
I hope this switching all the time isn't getting too annoying for you guys! But hopefully this will be the LAST time I have to switch... here we go
VenomxBrothers
The archives link is at the top under my banner. I also updated the about me page. Plus, I have a shit ton of links under the links bar to basically any site I have an account on... you guys better LOVE me AND COMMENT on this post. I need to know that all this time I've spent was worth at least something *dies*
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Conversation Converstaion
So I tried to post this here... but blogger is SO terrible... it wouldn't let me. I'm really considering going back to wordpress -_-
anyway, read my VERY important post here... I'm begging you!
http://venomxbrothers.wordpress.com/2010/06/28/for-real/
This isn't the first time this kid has come to me to talk. You figure if he knew he hated being gay, and he was now "straight" he'd have no reason to keep talking to me. I feel like deep down, some part of him is reaching out, trying to get me to prove him wrong or to make him feel okay with being bi. I feel obligated to find someone who knows what to do and get them to help me on this. I don't want this kid to live the rest of his life trying to deny a part of himself.
anyway, read my VERY important post here... I'm begging you!
http://venomxbrothers.wordpress.com/2010/06/28/for-real/
This isn't the first time this kid has come to me to talk. You figure if he knew he hated being gay, and he was now "straight" he'd have no reason to keep talking to me. I feel like deep down, some part of him is reaching out, trying to get me to prove him wrong or to make him feel okay with being bi. I feel obligated to find someone who knows what to do and get them to help me on this. I don't want this kid to live the rest of his life trying to deny a part of himself.
Crash Crash!
Okay so on the way home from NYC, we drove by a crash scene. It was obviously incredibly recent, because there were no ambulances or police or anything. All we saw was a big truck with a cylinder behind it was flipped on it's side, debris strewn about. We kept driving because it smelt like chemicals (which I correctly identified as chlorine because I love the smell).
Izzy found this short news story about it, more to follow later possibly...
http://www.recordonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100628/NEWS90/100629789/-1/rss01
How lucky are we that we passed by before the road was shut down? Imagine how hard it would have been to get home after that >.>
Izzy found this short news story about it, more to follow later possibly...
http://www.recordonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100628/NEWS90/100629789/-1/rss01
How lucky are we that we passed by before the road was shut down? Imagine how hard it would have been to get home after that >.>
MIYAVI
omgogmogmomgmgomgomgomgomogm
I can't even BELIEVE I just saw Miyavi....
I know I say this every time... but THAT WAS THE BEST CONCERT EVER! I'm not sure how any show I ever go to will compare to that! Only MCR could top what just happened. I almost don't even CARE about other bands now... *sighs*
I waited in line for hours, I stood in a room PACKED with sweaty and gross people, I watched people pass out from dehydration, and I lost a friend along the way waiting for the encore... I have no regrets and I couldn't be happier...
Miyavi is so freakin perfect and amazing. He couldn't be any more amazing.... ahhh *melts*
Check out my 2 new videos and a bunch of new pictures all on facebook... GOGOGO
Also, check out the sexy miyavi pics below... well excuse me his name is officially written as
雅-MIYAVI-
I can't even BELIEVE I just saw Miyavi....
I know I say this every time... but THAT WAS THE BEST CONCERT EVER! I'm not sure how any show I ever go to will compare to that! Only MCR could top what just happened. I almost don't even CARE about other bands now... *sighs*
I waited in line for hours, I stood in a room PACKED with sweaty and gross people, I watched people pass out from dehydration, and I lost a friend along the way waiting for the encore... I have no regrets and I couldn't be happier...
Miyavi is so freakin perfect and amazing. He couldn't be any more amazing.... ahhh *melts*
Check out my 2 new videos and a bunch of new pictures all on facebook... GOGOGO
Also, check out the sexy miyavi pics below... well excuse me his name is officially written as
雅-MIYAVI-
Friday, June 25, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Rock Out
I want to start a band... seriously. I play keyboard, Ryan (Devine) called dibs on drums... we need a vocalist of course... and maybe guitar/bass, but I'm really open on what instruments should be in this.
But I need suggestions on instruments and I need people to play with me. THIS HAS TO HAPPEN
But I need suggestions on instruments and I need people to play with me. THIS HAS TO HAPPEN
Friday, June 18, 2010
Updates and Random Talk
So I feel like going over what happened yesterday, just because I didn't really explain much in yesterday's post. Also I'll talk about a cute little discussion I had over lunch today.
So yesterday I got to work at the usual, 9am. I was driven in because my car was in the shop. I tried to text people to ask for a ride from AMC to the capital for the protest, but no one could help. So, at exactly 12pm, I left for work (backpack and everything) and walked down to the capital. It was a 30 minute walk, and I really enjoyed getting some fresh air. Then from 12:30 to 1:30 we shouted, handed out fliers and talked to people about it. Speaking of fliers, somewhere along the line I got designated as a flier person, and now whenever I show up to these events I'm automatically handed papers. I hate my ability to talk to strangers and handle rejection, haha. Anyway, at 1:30 we all got together and talked about the rally. Some people went to get food, a few left. Most of us went inside to watch the senate (which was in session at the time). We were hoping they would vote on a certain bill we were all interested in. By the time I got in there, it was probably around 2:00. I stayed there until around 3:20, watching those idiots do nothing but blab at each other. I eventually got a text message saying there wasn't enough time and they weren't going to get to the bill, so we met up outside again. We all ended up walking to Bombers, and I called my mother to come pick me up from there. By this point I'm not feeling well again. So mother got there at maybe 3:45... and I headed home!
There, now you know (in detail) what my day was like! Haha...
Oh also have you noticed my increased use of parenthesis? I feel like I keep using them so I don't have prepositional phrases in between commas.... huh
Anyway, on to today! (wow this is a long blog today)
So on to today. When I got to the break room with my lunch, Dr. Zimmerman, Connie, and Beth were in there eating their lunch as well. Connie is a nurse and used to be the 2nd in command over at the PT department until she came here. Beth is the social worker here who works with all the families that come in to see Dr. Z. She also works with any family that needs help, including holding support groups for family members of those with AD and having talks at a lot of different events. They're both awesome people. Well anyway, they got into a discussion about how they all got into Alzheimer's work. It was so interesting to hear their story.
Dr. Zimmerman had been a long time teacher at Columbia before he went out to Oregon. While out there, a man he worked for told him he was going to help create an Alzheimer's research center. Dr. Zimmerman, at the time, had no knowledge of the disease at all, so he was a little shocked. He was thrown into its creation and set up. He ended up being the head, gaining the grants for the research, and recruiting members.
Connie came from a place that wasn't making her happy. She was miserable, and it was affecting her health and her well being. She was desperate for something new. She was only 2nd in command, so she couldn't make any real decisions, but she still had a lot of responsibility. I visited where she came from, and it's a tough place to work. Imagine spending your life in a small room with little to no equipment, trying to get the elderly patients to go to and finish their physical training. Yeah, motivation is not a strong trait of these people. When someone offered her a job as a nurse over here at the ARC (Alzheimer's Research Center) at a significantly lower pay, she went with the logical choice and said no. But then it hit her, this was the chance she was looking for! So she came over here.
Beth had the most touching story. She graduated from college with a bachelor's degree and immediately went into social work. Eventually, the place she was originally working at closed down, so she took a 6 month position at a local old folks home that was open. She met with the family members of the people who stayed there, and family members that were considering enrolling their spouses and such there. She told one story of a woman who she met very early on. She went for a house visit to talk to the woman who's husband had very severe Alzheimer's. She was shown around the house and finally brought to the bedroom. When the woman looked at their bed, then looked back at Beth, she finally said, "Do you see this bed?" Beth of course replies with a yes. The woman continues, "For the whole day I take care of a 3 year old. At night, this is the only place where I get my husband back." (If you don't know, as the brain atrophies in AD, the person regresses in age, with most regressing to about age 3 before they die) It was people like that that struck her so much, with the dedication and the patience these people had to have. So she ended up staying at that nursing home, and she joined the Alzheimer's Foundation to learn more about the disease and try to help families. Eventually they made her president of the board, and things went from there!
Now if someone asks me how I ended up here... all I can say is... it was an accident! As they all put it... Alzheimer's chose me, not the other way around, and they chose me for a reason. Oh they're all so nice here!! XD
So yesterday I got to work at the usual, 9am. I was driven in because my car was in the shop. I tried to text people to ask for a ride from AMC to the capital for the protest, but no one could help. So, at exactly 12pm, I left for work (backpack and everything) and walked down to the capital. It was a 30 minute walk, and I really enjoyed getting some fresh air. Then from 12:30 to 1:30 we shouted, handed out fliers and talked to people about it. Speaking of fliers, somewhere along the line I got designated as a flier person, and now whenever I show up to these events I'm automatically handed papers. I hate my ability to talk to strangers and handle rejection, haha. Anyway, at 1:30 we all got together and talked about the rally. Some people went to get food, a few left. Most of us went inside to watch the senate (which was in session at the time). We were hoping they would vote on a certain bill we were all interested in. By the time I got in there, it was probably around 2:00. I stayed there until around 3:20, watching those idiots do nothing but blab at each other. I eventually got a text message saying there wasn't enough time and they weren't going to get to the bill, so we met up outside again. We all ended up walking to Bombers, and I called my mother to come pick me up from there. By this point I'm not feeling well again. So mother got there at maybe 3:45... and I headed home!
There, now you know (in detail) what my day was like! Haha...
Oh also have you noticed my increased use of parenthesis? I feel like I keep using them so I don't have prepositional phrases in between commas.... huh
Anyway, on to today! (wow this is a long blog today)
So on to today. When I got to the break room with my lunch, Dr. Zimmerman, Connie, and Beth were in there eating their lunch as well. Connie is a nurse and used to be the 2nd in command over at the PT department until she came here. Beth is the social worker here who works with all the families that come in to see Dr. Z. She also works with any family that needs help, including holding support groups for family members of those with AD and having talks at a lot of different events. They're both awesome people. Well anyway, they got into a discussion about how they all got into Alzheimer's work. It was so interesting to hear their story.
Dr. Zimmerman had been a long time teacher at Columbia before he went out to Oregon. While out there, a man he worked for told him he was going to help create an Alzheimer's research center. Dr. Zimmerman, at the time, had no knowledge of the disease at all, so he was a little shocked. He was thrown into its creation and set up. He ended up being the head, gaining the grants for the research, and recruiting members.
Connie came from a place that wasn't making her happy. She was miserable, and it was affecting her health and her well being. She was desperate for something new. She was only 2nd in command, so she couldn't make any real decisions, but she still had a lot of responsibility. I visited where she came from, and it's a tough place to work. Imagine spending your life in a small room with little to no equipment, trying to get the elderly patients to go to and finish their physical training. Yeah, motivation is not a strong trait of these people. When someone offered her a job as a nurse over here at the ARC (Alzheimer's Research Center) at a significantly lower pay, she went with the logical choice and said no. But then it hit her, this was the chance she was looking for! So she came over here.
Beth had the most touching story. She graduated from college with a bachelor's degree and immediately went into social work. Eventually, the place she was originally working at closed down, so she took a 6 month position at a local old folks home that was open. She met with the family members of the people who stayed there, and family members that were considering enrolling their spouses and such there. She told one story of a woman who she met very early on. She went for a house visit to talk to the woman who's husband had very severe Alzheimer's. She was shown around the house and finally brought to the bedroom. When the woman looked at their bed, then looked back at Beth, she finally said, "Do you see this bed?" Beth of course replies with a yes. The woman continues, "For the whole day I take care of a 3 year old. At night, this is the only place where I get my husband back." (If you don't know, as the brain atrophies in AD, the person regresses in age, with most regressing to about age 3 before they die) It was people like that that struck her so much, with the dedication and the patience these people had to have. So she ended up staying at that nursing home, and she joined the Alzheimer's Foundation to learn more about the disease and try to help families. Eventually they made her president of the board, and things went from there!
Now if someone asks me how I ended up here... all I can say is... it was an accident! As they all put it... Alzheimer's chose me, not the other way around, and they chose me for a reason. Oh they're all so nice here!! XD
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Capital Protest
Today I went to another protest against the rejection of GENDA... which I'm still shocked that it got shot down! So after our little protest... I got to go inside and sit in the gallery and watch the senate work... and if I didn't want to be a politician before, I sure don't want to be one now.
Eddy lookin down at the floor
Some people across at the other gallery
the senate at work (not really)
I found one of our fliers in a trash can... depressing
Eddy lookin down at the floor
Some people across at the other gallery
the senate at work (not really)
I found one of our fliers in a trash can... depressing
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
SodaHead is full of Religious Retards
Okay here we go again... this was a blog on how an ally of Bush Jr. supports gay marriage... we open with the offender's comment
And now comes me
Now Him
And then I find a way around being blocked to add this
Can someone tell me if I'm insane or if the world has gone insane? Because after reading what he linked me to... I want to RIP THIS FUCK TARDS FACE OFF... as a human being this man makes me want to end humanity as I know it.
P.S. This retard honestly thinks the only reason I support gay marriage is for the money it will gave the state? REALLY? Because us liberals really only care about money... yup...
Just another RINO who esteems man's law above that of God Almighty.
Homosexuals already have the same rights as any other legal American Citizen but they want the American people and the government to give a stamp of approval to their perverted sins. I'm sick of these people trying to legislate immorality into the law. Living in a civilized nation requires many restrictions on behavior. There are just as many valid arguments to legalize murder for some group of people as there are arguments for homosexual marriage. If we change the law to allow homosexual marriage, then doesn't that same Constitution have to allow murder to those who claim it makes them happy, or complete, or they were born to kill people and they want their rights?
Like the Bible, the U.S. Constitution can support a lot of immoral and distasteful things if taken out of context and not interpreted from a foundation of morality and justice.
Their argument is insane and emotional and has no backing in reality.
And now comes me
You cannot compare murder to gay marriage! Murder takes away something more important than anything else, a life. What is gay marriage taking away? In fact, gay marriage will give more money to the state (from marriage licenses). I don't care what your opinion is, but you cannot compare anything to murder except for murder! There is never a cause for such a ridiculous comparison and you are disrespecting the souls of every person ever murdered, the family members of those people, and any loved ones as well.
Now Him
I did not compare murder and homosexual marriage. You should not twist my words and you should read more carefully if you intend to respond in an honest manner.
You wrote: "...gay marriage will give more money to the state (from marriage licenses)."
Such a poor basis for changing law, but in recent decades it is done frequently and only shows the deterioration of The United States was founded on the principle of LAW, not what best filled the coffers. Pure foolishness and dangerous to make law on such criteria as you propose.
As I said, I did not compare homosexual marriage to murder. Read again and more slowly. Anyone with common sense knows that there is no comparison in the two.
EDIT: Blocked for being dishonest, ignorant, immature, atheist, "very liberal," and all around disgusting as an individual to me.
http://www.sodahead.com/fun/did-i-block-you/blog-125375/
And then I find a way around being blocked to add this
As proof of your comparison
"There are just as many valid arguments to legalize murder for some group of people as there are arguments for homosexual marriage. If we change the law to allow homosexual marriage, then doesn't that same Constitution have to allow murder to those who claim it makes them happy, or complete, or they were born to kill people and they want their rights? "
How are you NOT comparing the two? You're saying there are just as many valid arguments for both! I hardly see that as possible. You're saying that they're on the same level of disgusting acts. I'm not sure how I twisted your words when I'm quoting them right now
Can someone tell me if I'm insane or if the world has gone insane? Because after reading what he linked me to... I want to RIP THIS FUCK TARDS FACE OFF... as a human being this man makes me want to end humanity as I know it.
P.S. This retard honestly thinks the only reason I support gay marriage is for the money it will gave the state? REALLY? Because us liberals really only care about money... yup...
Pretzel Timez
OMG, best idea ever guys. So I had all this chocolate from graduation that I didn't want to eat, so I ended up melting that shit down into a yummy goo. Then I made chocolate covered pretzels!
There were a lot more... but I ate them all, haha. Now I regret eating them, because I have a huge stomach ache XD
Oh well, I just felt like updating you guys.
Also, if you're living under a rock, then I might as well tell you, I came out on facebook! (wow way too many commas in that one)
I made it my facebook status and profile picture... I feel so much more liberated, like I don't have to hide any more (although I'm still afraid my mother will find out some how).
Sorry there isn't too much to this update, I'm just waiting for something interesting to happen in my life...
There were a lot more... but I ate them all, haha. Now I regret eating them, because I have a huge stomach ache XD
Oh well, I just felt like updating you guys.
Also, if you're living under a rock, then I might as well tell you, I came out on facebook! (wow way too many commas in that one)
I made it my facebook status and profile picture... I feel so much more liberated, like I don't have to hide any more (although I'm still afraid my mother will find out some how).
Sorry there isn't too much to this update, I'm just waiting for something interesting to happen in my life...
Friday, June 11, 2010
2 Months Strong
Today is Emmy and my 2 month anniversary... here's his picture present :P
(his was WAY better -_- )
Albany Med Updates
Okay so I'm not sure what I have or haven't told people (or what I've blogged about)... but here's what's going on in my life...
So I've been asked to stay on through June and keep working here on my project. We're working on seeing if aerobic exercise can slow down or maybe prevent MCI and Alzheimer's.
Also, I've been talking to Dr. Zimmerman about staying on through July and getting paid for it (so I wouldn't need to leave to get a summer job). Things are getting really exciting over here.
So today I had a meeting with Louann Kuntz, the manager of the Outpatient Physical Therapy center at AMC. She seems really excited to help me with this project. She's going to help me design that exercise program, and possibly have people use the outpatient center. Also, she's going to lend me her expertise on using the heart rate monitoring equipment, balance equipment, etc. She has a personal connection to a lot of people with Alzheimer's and sees a lot of these patients in the center, so she's happy to help in any way with possibly helping these people.
The money for this project (as of now) is going to be coming out of Dr. Zimmerman's back pocket, so we're trying to do everything we can to get insurance to cover things. Also we're hoping that the patients can go to a public gym or some place like the YMCA to do their programs. It's all very exciting and VERY legitimate.
Plus, everyone keeps complimenting me on being so self motivated and wonderful, I'm starting to blush! My attitude after the meeting was described as "a kid in a candy store". I can't help it, things are working out so well! I thought I'd write this case and run... but now I might get to stay here for the duration of this pilot study! I really hope things go well and I can get Dr. Z that grant he wants!
More to follow :D
So I've been asked to stay on through June and keep working here on my project. We're working on seeing if aerobic exercise can slow down or maybe prevent MCI and Alzheimer's.
Also, I've been talking to Dr. Zimmerman about staying on through July and getting paid for it (so I wouldn't need to leave to get a summer job). Things are getting really exciting over here.
So today I had a meeting with Louann Kuntz, the manager of the Outpatient Physical Therapy center at AMC. She seems really excited to help me with this project. She's going to help me design that exercise program, and possibly have people use the outpatient center. Also, she's going to lend me her expertise on using the heart rate monitoring equipment, balance equipment, etc. She has a personal connection to a lot of people with Alzheimer's and sees a lot of these patients in the center, so she's happy to help in any way with possibly helping these people.
The money for this project (as of now) is going to be coming out of Dr. Zimmerman's back pocket, so we're trying to do everything we can to get insurance to cover things. Also we're hoping that the patients can go to a public gym or some place like the YMCA to do their programs. It's all very exciting and VERY legitimate.
Plus, everyone keeps complimenting me on being so self motivated and wonderful, I'm starting to blush! My attitude after the meeting was described as "a kid in a candy store". I can't help it, things are working out so well! I thought I'd write this case and run... but now I might get to stay here for the duration of this pilot study! I really hope things go well and I can get Dr. Z that grant he wants!
More to follow :D
Giggle or Rage
Okay so this little story may make you angry, or may make you laugh. I'm not sure what I feel any more...
So there's this website called SodaHead where you can post question polls on people's opinions. It's a really nice site. But like all things, Twilight has infested it... now wait to you see this.
Okay here's a blog someone posted on the site... obviously under the group Vampiric Delights, a group I'm a part of. Of course when I saw this blight on vampires being posted into our beautiful group, I had to attack.
So I responded to the blog with this comment (the first one, I'm Teenage)... and I got a reply... and then the fight began
Now I hope you can agree with me... her being a 15 year old Twilight fan... she really can't actually think I'm getting all flustered over her? Me, and 18 year old GORGEOUS person (I say this cuz she's ugly, lol)... upset by her? Noooo way... but once someone challenges me, I can't exactly back down. Even the lowliest life form can agitate my pride...
Now at this point she turned off the ability for people to both message her and reply to her comments. She OBVIOUSLY is already losing to my might :3
Now to see her profile, and I warn you this isn't for the light of heart, click here
http://www.sodahead.com/user/profile/1132791/twilight-lover-lucero-cullen/
Be warned, I think she ACTUALLY thinks she's in the Cullen family.
So I've been wondering... how do I crush the living daylights out of the peon of a human who dared to pretend that twilight was worth shit... how?
So there's this website called SodaHead where you can post question polls on people's opinions. It's a really nice site. But like all things, Twilight has infested it... now wait to you see this.
Okay here's a blog someone posted on the site... obviously under the group Vampiric Delights, a group I'm a part of. Of course when I saw this blight on vampires being posted into our beautiful group, I had to attack.
So I responded to the blog with this comment (the first one, I'm Teenage)... and I got a reply... and then the fight began
Now I hope you can agree with me... her being a 15 year old Twilight fan... she really can't actually think I'm getting all flustered over her? Me, and 18 year old GORGEOUS person (I say this cuz she's ugly, lol)... upset by her? Noooo way... but once someone challenges me, I can't exactly back down. Even the lowliest life form can agitate my pride...
Now at this point she turned off the ability for people to both message her and reply to her comments. She OBVIOUSLY is already losing to my might :3
Now to see her profile, and I warn you this isn't for the light of heart, click here
http://www.sodahead.com/user/profile/1132791/twilight-lover-lucero-cullen/
Be warned, I think she ACTUALLY thinks she's in the Cullen family.
So I've been wondering... how do I crush the living daylights out of the peon of a human who dared to pretend that twilight was worth shit... how?
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Discoveries
Today I learned that a certain person who has been critical of the LGBTQ community before considers him/herself bisexual. They said they hate that part of him/herself, but that it's such a small part, this person still considers him/herself happy.
I was almost devastated to hear this. I've never met someone who admitted to being even a little gay (and they said they were 95% straight, 5% gay) but hated that part of them. This is what drives people to turn to those evil bastards who claim they can "cure" gayness. I tried to talk to them about it. I told him/her that they should talk to someone about this professionally... or at least just talk to me about it!
They refused... they said they were happy and fine... I also had to promise not to tell anyone (hence my extreme use of ambiguity). Then they signed off before we could talk any more.
Ahhhh I feel like I shouldn't let this go! But if someone doesn't want help, what can you do for them? I'm worried for them...
I was almost devastated to hear this. I've never met someone who admitted to being even a little gay (and they said they were 95% straight, 5% gay) but hated that part of them. This is what drives people to turn to those evil bastards who claim they can "cure" gayness. I tried to talk to them about it. I told him/her that they should talk to someone about this professionally... or at least just talk to me about it!
They refused... they said they were happy and fine... I also had to promise not to tell anyone (hence my extreme use of ambiguity). Then they signed off before we could talk any more.
Ahhhh I feel like I shouldn't let this go! But if someone doesn't want help, what can you do for them? I'm worried for them...
Monday, June 7, 2010
LGBTQ
I love gay people... I love hanging out with gay people... I love everything about the community.
Today I went to Pride Bowling... it started out a little slow, but I was hanging with Hannah the whole time, so I wasn't dying. Then a few other trans kids showed up and we went outside to chat. That was pretty fun, we talked about a bunch of things.
I think I totally have a crush on one of them... it got me thinking what dating a trans guy would be like (because I prefer trans guys over trans girls). I don't think I would mind at all...
I'm really going to miss these guys when I go off to Boston. Luckily there's a Queer Rising chapter there, so maybe I'll make all new gay friends :3
P.S. It seems people are starting to favor adding a Q onto LGBT (for queer) just to give a spot in the acronym for those who aren't so easily defined.
Today I went to Pride Bowling... it started out a little slow, but I was hanging with Hannah the whole time, so I wasn't dying. Then a few other trans kids showed up and we went outside to chat. That was pretty fun, we talked about a bunch of things.
I think I totally have a crush on one of them... it got me thinking what dating a trans guy would be like (because I prefer trans guys over trans girls). I don't think I would mind at all...
I'm really going to miss these guys when I go off to Boston. Luckily there's a Queer Rising chapter there, so maybe I'll make all new gay friends :3
P.S. It seems people are starting to favor adding a Q onto LGBT (for queer) just to give a spot in the acronym for those who aren't so easily defined.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Cold Blood
I finally understand Edward... and it's NOT OKAY...
They didn't just kill him... she FORGOT him... noooo *cries*
I'm so sad... (oh btw for all you slightly less cool people, this is about Doctor Who)
Plus I was supposed to go to bed at 1am... but The Hungry Earth ended up being a two part episode (followed by the Cold Blood, hence the blog title). It was a good episode. Kind of refreshing to see an example of a human acting like a human and NOT being the best of humanity... tho was I ever pissed at that stupid chick. Glad things worked out so well for humanity though.
Oh and talk about ominous, the whole tardis piece... oh shit man, oh shit. I'm already sick of the cracks, I can't take the suspense, I want to know about this "explosion" now! Of course we'll probably have to wait until the season finale or something... curses!
Okay time to go pass out...
They didn't just kill him... she FORGOT him... noooo *cries*
I'm so sad... (oh btw for all you slightly less cool people, this is about Doctor Who)
Plus I was supposed to go to bed at 1am... but The Hungry Earth ended up being a two part episode (followed by the Cold Blood, hence the blog title). It was a good episode. Kind of refreshing to see an example of a human acting like a human and NOT being the best of humanity... tho was I ever pissed at that stupid chick. Glad things worked out so well for humanity though.
Oh and talk about ominous, the whole tardis piece... oh shit man, oh shit. I'm already sick of the cracks, I can't take the suspense, I want to know about this "explosion" now! Of course we'll probably have to wait until the season finale or something... curses!
Okay time to go pass out...
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
I Don't Understand
I really don't... how can my own mother be so immature! You wonder why I'm so bipolar or occasionally mean... it's because I have the worst person in the universe as my mother.
She's honestly the most ridiculous and outstandingly retarded person I know. I tried to have a talk with her today, and it turned into a ridiculous shouting fest, followed by her trying to ignore me and run away.
I know a lot of people say their parents are bad, and I know I've complained before... but honestly this woman disgusts me so much I literally got sick after having to deal with her.
To top it all off, she took the FUCKING CAR away from me AGAIN... this is starting to become a weekly thing. Of course, now I can't get to Alt Prom... and that is something I can NEVER forgive her for. If I can't go to that because of this shit, I swear to god I'll take the car and go anyway... I cannot respect her or any rule that shit face makes.
She is the most disgusting sub human THING I've ever had to lay my eyes on. I have less hatred for my father, and that's saying something.
And now that the anger is fading away... I'm really starting to freak out... I HAVE to go to alternative prom... it's the last one I'll ever be able to go to... seriously this is something I cried over because I missed it last year. I REFUSE TO LET HER SELFISH AND RIDICULOUS ATTITUDE RUIN ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT MOMENTS OF MY LIFE. I have been looking forward to this for two whole years... TWO YEARS
faeiw;jv;iawemiiawfel
She's honestly the most ridiculous and outstandingly retarded person I know. I tried to have a talk with her today, and it turned into a ridiculous shouting fest, followed by her trying to ignore me and run away.
I know a lot of people say their parents are bad, and I know I've complained before... but honestly this woman disgusts me so much I literally got sick after having to deal with her.
To top it all off, she took the FUCKING CAR away from me AGAIN... this is starting to become a weekly thing. Of course, now I can't get to Alt Prom... and that is something I can NEVER forgive her for. If I can't go to that because of this shit, I swear to god I'll take the car and go anyway... I cannot respect her or any rule that shit face makes.
She is the most disgusting sub human THING I've ever had to lay my eyes on. I have less hatred for my father, and that's saying something.
And now that the anger is fading away... I'm really starting to freak out... I HAVE to go to alternative prom... it's the last one I'll ever be able to go to... seriously this is something I cried over because I missed it last year. I REFUSE TO LET HER SELFISH AND RIDICULOUS ATTITUDE RUIN ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT MOMENTS OF MY LIFE. I have been looking forward to this for two whole years... TWO YEARS
faeiw;jv;iawemiiawfel
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Laptop Overload
Oh gosh, I did something really bad. I left my laptop in sleep mode... in my book bag... for two days.
I get to work this morning and I can't figure out why my whole bag is burning hot! I figure it must have been from the sun on the drive to work or something.
Well eventually I decide to grab my book out of my book bag... and I notice, wow it's REALLY hot in this bag, what's going on? I brush against my laptop, and it burns! So I of course quickly pull my ridiculously hot laptop out of my bag and lay it on the desk. I check the power level, dead. That means I'd left it on sleep mode until it died, which takes a long time.... opps?
So yeah, it seems my laptop had just overheated in my book bag. As a result... the material in my bag left a coloring on my laptop... which is really creepy and can't be a good sign. It's the blue stuff in the pictures...
It's a little harder to see in the second one... but the discoloration covered maybe 1/4 of the bottom of my laptop (I pointed to the area with lil arrows). I let it cool down for an hour than plugged it in and turned it on. Thankfully it started up and seems to be working right. Wow that was scary!
I get to work this morning and I can't figure out why my whole bag is burning hot! I figure it must have been from the sun on the drive to work or something.
Well eventually I decide to grab my book out of my book bag... and I notice, wow it's REALLY hot in this bag, what's going on? I brush against my laptop, and it burns! So I of course quickly pull my ridiculously hot laptop out of my bag and lay it on the desk. I check the power level, dead. That means I'd left it on sleep mode until it died, which takes a long time.... opps?
So yeah, it seems my laptop had just overheated in my book bag. As a result... the material in my bag left a coloring on my laptop... which is really creepy and can't be a good sign. It's the blue stuff in the pictures...
Oh man, my bad?
It's a little harder to see in the second one... but the discoloration covered maybe 1/4 of the bottom of my laptop (I pointed to the area with lil arrows). I let it cool down for an hour than plugged it in and turned it on. Thankfully it started up and seems to be working right. Wow that was scary!
Work...work...work... or not?
So now that I've basically finished up the study I was supposed to create for Dr. Zimmerman... I'm not sure what to do! I just have to wait to meet with a physical therapist here to see what kind of exercise these people can do, then write up my own version, and show Dr. Z!
Then what? I mean I'd like to go on field trips and maybe see some patients, but everyone is so busy around here, who knows how often I'll actually have something to do! Ugh...
I don't mind goofing off online while I'm not busy... but I just feel like I should be doing something meaningful while I'm here...
P.S. (unrelated) Did you guys know there are love/like/hate buttons at the bottom of each post? Feel free to use them, plz? Lol... I just want feed back from my dedicated followers (who I apparently do have) XD
Then what? I mean I'd like to go on field trips and maybe see some patients, but everyone is so busy around here, who knows how often I'll actually have something to do! Ugh...
I don't mind goofing off online while I'm not busy... but I just feel like I should be doing something meaningful while I'm here...
P.S. (unrelated) Did you guys know there are love/like/hate buttons at the bottom of each post? Feel free to use them, plz? Lol... I just want feed back from my dedicated followers (who I apparently do have) XD
Monday, May 31, 2010
Does this happen to you?
Do you have a friend who's usually really fun to talk to... but sometimes you just have awkward and sucky conversations? Its killing me that this happens with someone, but I have no idea what to do about it!
Ugh, I'm so frustrated...
P.S. What does it mean when that happens?
Ugh, I'm so frustrated...
P.S. What does it mean when that happens?
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Blargh!
So yesterday/today was a combination of some ups and downs...
I had a track meet, which required me to leave 2 hours early from AMC (+)
The bus ride was an hour long (-)
I had a pretty good book to read for the trip (+)
I had to sit around for almost 7 hours until my race (---)
I kicked ASS at my race and set a new PR (personal record) by around 15 seconds (+++)
I hurt really badly from after my race (-)
I got home and some drunken idiots had run into a telephone pole, leaving us with no power (-)
My friend Zach came and got me so I could hang out till the power came back on (+)
The power never came back on until this morning (-)
I got to sleep in AND see Mr. Devine today (++)
So we're at about equal...
Also, the power thing was why I wasn't online at all last night (not that anyone but Edward reads this anyway, lol)
Which is why you're my hero Edward <3
Also, Zach you're pretty cool too
I had a track meet, which required me to leave 2 hours early from AMC (+)
The bus ride was an hour long (-)
I had a pretty good book to read for the trip (+)
I had to sit around for almost 7 hours until my race (---)
I kicked ASS at my race and set a new PR (personal record) by around 15 seconds (+++)
I hurt really badly from after my race (-)
I got home and some drunken idiots had run into a telephone pole, leaving us with no power (-)
My friend Zach came and got me so I could hang out till the power came back on (+)
The power never came back on until this morning (-)
I got to sleep in AND see Mr. Devine today (++)
So we're at about equal...
Also, the power thing was why I wasn't online at all last night (not that anyone but Edward reads this anyway, lol)
Which is why you're my hero Edward <3
Also, Zach you're pretty cool too
Thursday, May 27, 2010
So for the longest time I've loved the school girl look (obviously the sexy kind, not my uniform from school kind) but I've NEVER had a button down white shirt! Now I finally own one, and I love it!! Take a look...
P.S. Yes this is one of my less fun work outfits, lol
That is all!
P.S. Yes this is one of my less fun work outfits, lol
P.P.S. YOU KNOW YOU WANT SOME
(lolol, yes this is how I entertain myself)
(lolol, yes this is how I entertain myself)
That is all!
Problems at Work
So yesterday we came across a little problem here at Albany Med. We had a computer guy (though he wasn't IT) come down to try to hook me up to some wireless printer so I could print in color. Originally I tried to do it myself, to no avail and my great frustration.
Well apparently it would have been impossible to hook me up to a printer because I had been borrowing someone else's account. When the man found this out, in fact, he flipped shit. Apparently it was a security breach, and he kept insisting that he could get fired if he didn't report this.
So here I am, freaking out because I'd admitted someone had given me their user name and password to use... thinking I've just gone and gotten my "boss" in major trouble.... so I was a little panicked.
Well, at that point Tonya (the woman in question) came over after seeing my apparently horrified face. She explain that it would be okay, that they'd gotten through MUCH worse working under Dr. Zimmerman (I lol'd at that). I wasn't too reassured, but it certainly was nice to see she wasn't really pissed at me. I had been afraid Tonya was going to blame me and never speak to me again! Ah, the maturity of adults in action.
Well in the end, Tonya didn't even really get a slap on the wrists. She explain that since I originally was only going to be here for less than 3 weeks, she knew by the time I got my own account set up, I'd be gone! So, they set me up with an account that very second, and here I am online with it!
So yeay! All's well that ends well.
Well apparently it would have been impossible to hook me up to a printer because I had been borrowing someone else's account. When the man found this out, in fact, he flipped shit. Apparently it was a security breach, and he kept insisting that he could get fired if he didn't report this.
So here I am, freaking out because I'd admitted someone had given me their user name and password to use... thinking I've just gone and gotten my "boss" in major trouble.... so I was a little panicked.
Well, at that point Tonya (the woman in question) came over after seeing my apparently horrified face. She explain that it would be okay, that they'd gotten through MUCH worse working under Dr. Zimmerman (I lol'd at that). I wasn't too reassured, but it certainly was nice to see she wasn't really pissed at me. I had been afraid Tonya was going to blame me and never speak to me again! Ah, the maturity of adults in action.
Well in the end, Tonya didn't even really get a slap on the wrists. She explain that since I originally was only going to be here for less than 3 weeks, she knew by the time I got my own account set up, I'd be gone! So, they set me up with an account that very second, and here I am online with it!
So yeay! All's well that ends well.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
We Are Scientists
Okay so if Seth reads this he's probably going to find this hilarious...
I've decided my newest band crush is on Keith Murray of We Are Scientists.
Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt
He was nominated for Peta2's Sexiest Vegetarian award multiple times bee tee dubs
(past winners include: Joss Stone and Chris Martin, lyssa Milano and Frank Iero, Kristen Bell and Davey Havok... AND MORE!)
His middle name is Austin. He was born May 10, 1977 (making him 33)... and his hair has been turning gray since he was 22... but because he's so cool he doesn't dye it :D
Milo Ventimiglia was the winner btw)
é 3000
Billy Hamilton (Silverstein)
Billy Martin (Good Charlotte)
Brian Bell (Weezer)
Chris Walla (Death Cab for Cutie)
Christofer Drew (Never Shout Never) OMG WHY DIDN'T HE WIN?!?!?!
Dave Melillo (Cute Is What We Aim For)
Davy Havok (AFI/Blaqk Audio)
Forrest Kline (hellogoodbye)
Frank Iero (My Chemical Romance)
(he won in 2008)
Gabe Saporta (Cobra Starship)
Hunter Burgan (AFI)
Jade Puget (AFI/Blaqk Audio)
Jared Leto (30 Seconds to Mars)
Jeph Howard (The Used)
Josh Bradford (Silverstein)
Keith Murray (We Are Scientists)
(oh heeeeey)
Kevin Bacon
Neil Boshart (Silverstein)
Paul Koehler (Silverstein)
Paul Mazurkiewicz (Cannibal Corpse)
Paul McCartney
Prince !!!
Rob Zombie (how is this man sexy to anyone?)
Ruben Studdard (same as above)
Shane Told (Silverstein)
(I'm starting to think everyone in Silverstein is a vegetarian)
Tim Reece (The Album Leaf)
(^^^^OH HEY KENJI, ARE YOU READING THIS!^^^^)
Tobey Maguire
Tom Higgenson (Plain White T's)
Travis Miguel (Atreyu)
Ville Valo (HIM)
P.S. Prince is a strict vegan *heart*
P.P.S. If you care, here's this year's winnings (actually it seems they do it twice a year)
The World's Sexiest Vegetarians Are...
I've decided my newest band crush is on Keith Murray of We Are Scientists.
Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt
He was nominated for Peta2's Sexiest Vegetarian award multiple times bee tee dubs
(past winners include: Joss Stone and Chris Martin, lyssa Milano and Frank Iero, Kristen Bell and Davey Havok... AND MORE!)
His middle name is Austin. He was born May 10, 1977 (making him 33)... and his hair has been turning gray since he was 22... but because he's so cool he doesn't dye it :D
Milo Ventimiglia was the winner btw)
é 3000
Billy Hamilton (Silverstein)
Billy Martin (Good Charlotte)
Brian Bell (Weezer)
Chris Walla (Death Cab for Cutie)
Christofer Drew (Never Shout Never) OMG WHY DIDN'T HE WIN?!?!?!
Dave Melillo (Cute Is What We Aim For)
Davy Havok (AFI/Blaqk Audio)
Forrest Kline (hellogoodbye)
Frank Iero (My Chemical Romance)
(he won in 2008)
Gabe Saporta (Cobra Starship)
Hunter Burgan (AFI)
Jade Puget (AFI/Blaqk Audio)
Jared Leto (30 Seconds to Mars)
Jeph Howard (The Used)
Josh Bradford (Silverstein)
Keith Murray (We Are Scientists)
(oh heeeeey)
Kevin Bacon
Neil Boshart (Silverstein)
Paul Koehler (Silverstein)
Paul Mazurkiewicz (Cannibal Corpse)
Paul McCartney
Prince !!!
Rob Zombie (how is this man sexy to anyone?)
Ruben Studdard (same as above)
Shane Told (Silverstein)
(I'm starting to think everyone in Silverstein is a vegetarian)
Tim Reece (The Album Leaf)
(^^^^OH HEY KENJI, ARE YOU READING THIS!^^^^)
Tobey Maguire
Tom Higgenson (Plain White T's)
Travis Miguel (Atreyu)
Ville Valo (HIM)
P.S. Prince is a strict vegan *heart*
P.P.S. If you care, here's this year's winnings (actually it seems they do it twice a year)
The World's Sexiest Vegetarians Are...
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Delicious Kitty Goodness
So today I brought a delicious Hello Kitty snack to work... it was... so delicious... mmmm
Take a look!
Mmm, biscuit-y goodness
Take a look!
There was a cute little matching game inside the box
Mmm, biscuit-y goodness
Monday, May 24, 2010
Surprise Surprise
Today my romance novel referenced The Scarlet Letter.... omg wtf bbq *insert gratuitous amounts of hearts here*
I really love this author, she's freakin brilliant at writing.
Yup, that is all...
EDIT: My mother has reached a new level of retarded... she somehow has NO idea what 'mhm' means... what!?!
I really love this author, she's freakin brilliant at writing.
Yup, that is all...
EDIT: My mother has reached a new level of retarded... she somehow has NO idea what 'mhm' means... what!?!
Friday, May 21, 2010
AMC - GOTTA LOVE IT
So I just got out of a meeting with Dr. Zimmerman, the man in charge of my whole project here.
We were going over what I've learned so far and what I'm going to be doing with the knowledge. Basically, Dr. Z is really interested in this field (if exercise can prevent or stave off MCI/AD or cognitive decline in general). So, I'm going to take what I've learned and design a study. And I'm not talking about just writing up a little thing for him to use later. I mean I have to write an intro, hypothesis, rational, study design, method, results, and a discussion at the end. I can't even believe it! This is beyond amazing. This is more than I could have ever asked for.
Dr. Zimmerman said I seemed like I would make a fantastic scientist because I was a "self-starter" when it came to this. I suppose that's true because I really like this topic now so I'm trying my best. He also said he'd love to have me back next year over the summer for a PAID position... OMGBBQWTF?!?!? YES PLEASE! I really really hope that works out.
I then proposed to him that I talk to the volunteer department about continuing my work here into June. He said he'd love the idea. Then he gave me his home number and said he was going to invite me over to meet his family some time! My heart is still racing.
This could be the most amazing opportunity of my life so far. Scratch that, this IS the most amazing opportunity of my life.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work!
We were going over what I've learned so far and what I'm going to be doing with the knowledge. Basically, Dr. Z is really interested in this field (if exercise can prevent or stave off MCI/AD or cognitive decline in general). So, I'm going to take what I've learned and design a study. And I'm not talking about just writing up a little thing for him to use later. I mean I have to write an intro, hypothesis, rational, study design, method, results, and a discussion at the end. I can't even believe it! This is beyond amazing. This is more than I could have ever asked for.
Dr. Zimmerman said I seemed like I would make a fantastic scientist because I was a "self-starter" when it came to this. I suppose that's true because I really like this topic now so I'm trying my best. He also said he'd love to have me back next year over the summer for a PAID position... OMGBBQWTF?!?!? YES PLEASE! I really really hope that works out.
I then proposed to him that I talk to the volunteer department about continuing my work here into June. He said he'd love the idea. Then he gave me his home number and said he was going to invite me over to meet his family some time! My heart is still racing.
This could be the most amazing opportunity of my life so far. Scratch that, this IS the most amazing opportunity of my life.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Hourglass figure
The classic "hourglass figure" is 36-24-36 (That being bust, waist, and hips)
After being measured for a dress, I found out I'm 35-27-38
Now that's pretty close to the classic hourglass, excluding the rather small waist (although 3 inches off isn't that bad, eh?). But then I got into looking, and honestly I'm almost glad for what I have... I mean have you ever seen what a real 24 inch waist would look like?
Here are some examples of a real hourglass figure (36-24-36)
Looks creepy and wrong, right? EXACTLY... look at the rest of them!!
You would literally need to wear a corset just to make your waist that small, unless you're about 3% of the population born with a naturally small waist and large hips.
This picture is one of the only slightly attractive ones I could find, but that's only because of the outfit! The 36-24-26 measurement just looks creepy on an actual woman.
I'd take the girl in the middle any day! I think she has the perfect body. She isn't too thin like the girl on the left, or too heavy like the girl on the right. She has just enough fat to be curvy. (although she probably has more than my 35 going on up top, haha)
((for that matter I'd take the girl on the right over the girl on the left))
As an example of an incredibly sexy woman... Angelina Jolie
I'll take her curves over a 36-24-36 any day!
After being measured for a dress, I found out I'm 35-27-38
Now that's pretty close to the classic hourglass, excluding the rather small waist (although 3 inches off isn't that bad, eh?). But then I got into looking, and honestly I'm almost glad for what I have... I mean have you ever seen what a real 24 inch waist would look like?
Here are some examples of a real hourglass figure (36-24-36)
Looks creepy and wrong, right? EXACTLY... look at the rest of them!!
You would literally need to wear a corset just to make your waist that small, unless you're about 3% of the population born with a naturally small waist and large hips.
This picture is one of the only slightly attractive ones I could find, but that's only because of the outfit! The 36-24-26 measurement just looks creepy on an actual woman.
I'd take the girl in the middle any day! I think she has the perfect body. She isn't too thin like the girl on the left, or too heavy like the girl on the right. She has just enough fat to be curvy. (although she probably has more than my 35 going on up top, haha)
((for that matter I'd take the girl on the right over the girl on the left))
As an example of an incredibly sexy woman... Angelina Jolie
I'll take her curves over a 36-24-36 any day!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Track Meet
: Too tired to talk... have things to blog about... falling asleep at desk.
Today was the Colonial Council Championships... the boy's school won! It was really exciting. We (the girls) only came in like 9th of 11, lol. But I got a ribbon for the Steeple Chase! I got 6th place, which means I scored some points for my team (only the top team scores).
Oh also, to put into perspective how AMAZING Holy Names is... we got a total of 35 points. They got 140 points... destroying everyone else, including whoever got second (who I'm pretty sure didn't break 100 points).
I'll try to talk about the rest tomorrow cuz I'm about to pass out... buh bye
EDIT: Okay so due to certain circumstances, I'm a little more awake now... so let's talk about the meet.
So the day started off okay. The weather was being a little bitchy, switching between slightly cold and slightly warm. But all in all it was pretty temperate. But, maybe an hour and a half into the meet, it got COLD. I'm talking shivering legs, goose bumps, hide under the blankets cold. I of course hadn't even run yet, so I got the satisfaction of knowing that I'd get to run both my races in this temperature.
By the time I run my 1500, the weather hasn't gotten too bad. I was shivering a little bit when I took my warm things off to race, but it was fine.
By the time I was going to run the Steeple Chase... it was pouring and COLD... very cold... the weather was possibly the most miserable and bad weather I've ever seen at a track meet >:(
Oh well, some could say that hey, I was already drenched before I even made it to the water steeple, lol.
As for how I did, I technically got my best time in the mile, beating a time I've had since indoors with a time of 5:57. And like I told you I came in 6th for the steeple, but I actually had a worse time by like 3 seconds from last time (which is a really bad thing, considering last time was my first steeple chase ever)... definitely something to work on.
Okay NOW I can pass out...
Today was the Colonial Council Championships... the boy's school won! It was really exciting. We (the girls) only came in like 9th of 11, lol. But I got a ribbon for the Steeple Chase! I got 6th place, which means I scored some points for my team (only the top team scores).
Oh also, to put into perspective how AMAZING Holy Names is... we got a total of 35 points. They got 140 points... destroying everyone else, including whoever got second (who I'm pretty sure didn't break 100 points).
I'll try to talk about the rest tomorrow cuz I'm about to pass out... buh bye
EDIT: Okay so due to certain circumstances, I'm a little more awake now... so let's talk about the meet.
So the day started off okay. The weather was being a little bitchy, switching between slightly cold and slightly warm. But all in all it was pretty temperate. But, maybe an hour and a half into the meet, it got COLD. I'm talking shivering legs, goose bumps, hide under the blankets cold. I of course hadn't even run yet, so I got the satisfaction of knowing that I'd get to run both my races in this temperature.
By the time I run my 1500, the weather hasn't gotten too bad. I was shivering a little bit when I took my warm things off to race, but it was fine.
By the time I was going to run the Steeple Chase... it was pouring and COLD... very cold... the weather was possibly the most miserable and bad weather I've ever seen at a track meet >:(
Oh well, some could say that hey, I was already drenched before I even made it to the water steeple, lol.
As for how I did, I technically got my best time in the mile, beating a time I've had since indoors with a time of 5:57. And like I told you I came in 6th for the steeple, but I actually had a worse time by like 3 seconds from last time (which is a really bad thing, considering last time was my first steeple chase ever)... definitely something to work on.
Okay NOW I can pass out...
Monday, May 17, 2010
Out with the Old, In with the New
So my old clothes that I had lying around sucked... the ones I was wearing for May Projects. So! I went out shopping and bought a whole new wardrobe... check it
Friday, May 14, 2010
Nightmares
So last night I had such a horrifying nightmare. Now you're going to say I'm a baby and how is that scary... but I swear it is.
So in my dream, my alarm clock was broken, and didn't wake me up on time. I woke up (in dream world) at like 12 pm and started to freak out. I ran around the house, crying and shouting because I had missed way too much and they were never going to take me back. I dunno, it sounds really lame when I type it, but when I woke up I almost vomited. One of my biggest fears is getting myself kicked out of May Projects and not graduating. I know they wont kick me out for being late just once, but in my dream it was totally possible. Bleh that has me in a bad mood, can't even nap now...
So in my dream, my alarm clock was broken, and didn't wake me up on time. I woke up (in dream world) at like 12 pm and started to freak out. I ran around the house, crying and shouting because I had missed way too much and they were never going to take me back. I dunno, it sounds really lame when I type it, but when I woke up I almost vomited. One of my biggest fears is getting myself kicked out of May Projects and not graduating. I know they wont kick me out for being late just once, but in my dream it was totally possible. Bleh that has me in a bad mood, can't even nap now...
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Albany Med Photos
I'll probably keep updating this as I take more pictures, so check back every once in a while until I make a new post (that's when I'll stop uploading pictures to this post)
My Office!
This is how I have to look every day
Gettin down to business!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
First Full Day at Work!
Okay so how cool is this! At my school, if you don't already know, instead of going to classes in May, we do May Projects. This usually entails some sort of internship or job shadowing. In my case, I'm working on a research project at Albany Med! I show up every day at 9am and leave at 3pm. I feel so legit I can't even be bored!
I'm trying to use my time wisely... although I guess I'm already slacking off if I'm bogging about it right? Haha okay okay I'll keep this short...
What's my research project you're asking? Well, I'm working on trying to find a connection between exercise and the reduced risk for MCI (mild cognitive impairment). Aka, can running every day stave off dementia and Alzheimer's? If it does, I'm charged with possibly finding out what would make up a good exercise routine for the older individuals at risk.
It's not as interesting as it could be, but it certainly is very productive and relevant! Huzzah!
Anyway I'm off to go work, tehe
(although that basically means read medical journals for a few hours)
UPDATE:
OMG, so I just went to lunch, and WOW do they have the most amazing food ever. I got a hummus, feta, spinach, onion, and tomato wrap... beyond delicious. They had whole turkeys and hams, a grill with vegie burgers, fast food type things, sushi, yogurt/pudding/assorted cold desserts, a salad bar, a made to order sandwich counter, and more! I think my stomach can die happy here, haha. Plus, I get $4 off AND a 20% discount for being a volunteer. My whole lunch cost less than $2! (and that included a wrap, a medium drink and a salad)
I did end up sitting alone in the cafeteria, but all the nice people who work in S Building with me suggested I bring my food back here to socialize with the rest of them. Adults want to talk to me! I feel way too old suddenly :P
Just walking down the hallways and seeing nothing but doctors and med students is threatening enough, but now I'm going to be eating lunch in the "break room" with a group of adult hospital employees! What's next, I'll start getting a pay check? I hope this is what my adult life will be like some day...
I'm trying to use my time wisely... although I guess I'm already slacking off if I'm bogging about it right? Haha okay okay I'll keep this short...
What's my research project you're asking? Well, I'm working on trying to find a connection between exercise and the reduced risk for MCI (mild cognitive impairment). Aka, can running every day stave off dementia and Alzheimer's? If it does, I'm charged with possibly finding out what would make up a good exercise routine for the older individuals at risk.
It's not as interesting as it could be, but it certainly is very productive and relevant! Huzzah!
Anyway I'm off to go work, tehe
(although that basically means read medical journals for a few hours)
UPDATE:
OMG, so I just went to lunch, and WOW do they have the most amazing food ever. I got a hummus, feta, spinach, onion, and tomato wrap... beyond delicious. They had whole turkeys and hams, a grill with vegie burgers, fast food type things, sushi, yogurt/pudding/assorted cold desserts, a salad bar, a made to order sandwich counter, and more! I think my stomach can die happy here, haha. Plus, I get $4 off AND a 20% discount for being a volunteer. My whole lunch cost less than $2! (and that included a wrap, a medium drink and a salad)
I did end up sitting alone in the cafeteria, but all the nice people who work in S Building with me suggested I bring my food back here to socialize with the rest of them. Adults want to talk to me! I feel way too old suddenly :P
Just walking down the hallways and seeing nothing but doctors and med students is threatening enough, but now I'm going to be eating lunch in the "break room" with a group of adult hospital employees! What's next, I'll start getting a pay check? I hope this is what my adult life will be like some day...
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Mother's Day
So father really REALLY bugged me this mother's day... so I decided to actually use some of the amazing creative juices I had and do something special this year
So here's what I did:
I bought her 11 red roses and 1 white rose... then some weird filler shit... and I put them together in my best attempt at flower arranging.
I also included this little letter
Tehe, I made mother cry she was so touched. I figure I owe it to her, especially when no one is really giving her any love these days. Success!
So here's what I did:
I bought her 11 red roses and 1 white rose... then some weird filler shit... and I put them together in my best attempt at flower arranging.
I also included this little letter
12 Reasons Why I Love You
1. You haven't given up on me yet
2. You let me grow up to be who I wanted to be
3. You gave me so many opportunities
4. You've always encouraged me to do better
5. You've somehow survived all of us for this long
6. You have an unshakable belief in God, and I respect that even if I disagree
7. You're more accepting than I give you credit for
8. You were the best Girl Scout troop leader I've ever had
9. Your dedication to your children is remarkable
10. You work hard at the things you love
11. You have all these little habits that you've passed on to me, so in a way I'll always have something of you to take with me
And number 12, represented by the single white rose
I love you because you're my mother, and that's something no one can take away from me, and something that will never change. Even after these roses die, you'll always have this list to look back to, and I'll always have the memories you shared along with me. Here's a gift for you on the last Mother's Day before I head off to college. And here's to wishing for many more after that.
Tehe, I made mother cry she was so touched. I figure I owe it to her, especially when no one is really giving her any love these days. Success!
Spinning in Circles
Wow, Saturday was one heck of a long day... let me regale you with tales of my misadventures
So Saturday was the Johnstown track meet thinggy... I woke up at 6am to get to school by 8am, and ride the bus for an hour. We arrived at about 9am, and waited for an hour and a half for the track meet to even start. My event, of course, was 41st of 44 events. So, I sat in a tent for hours and hours and hours, hiding from the raging wind and rain (and cold).
It was very unpleasant. One minute it was so windy our tent was knocked down. The next it was so sunny I had to crawl out of my blankets and take off a jacket or two (and yes there was more than one). Then, I had to try to study in the loud tent filled with what looked like a slow moving orgy, or just a pile of cozy dead bodies, either way (that was a cyanide and happiness reference right there, here's the reference pic)
To top it all off, my headphones broke so I couldn't even block them out with music. Eventually (at around 4pm) my race was getting close. Oh and what was my event you might ask? Well, I was chosen oh so nicely by my track coach to run the steeple chase. If you don't know what a steeple is... here's a lil picture for you
That, is a steeple... The race is 2000 meters long, just slightly over 5 laps around the track. For you nonathletic types, four laps is a mile. Can you guess how many steeples there are each lap? Five... there are five of them. If you were wondering what makes steeple chase worse than hurdle races... its because when you run into a hurdle, it moves with your leg so you can keep running. If you don't get over the steeple, trust me in a one on one, I'm betting on the steeple to win. And, of course, just to make things more fun and amazing *cough* they make one a WATER PIT... look
That water pit starts at about hip height and gets less deep the further away from the steeple you land.
So I checked in when they called me, warmed up, then headed to the starting line. Of course, the weather turned bad just as we were getting ready to go. Dark clouds suddenly overtook the sky and a nasty freezing wind started to blow. Yeay me! -_-
Well... lets just say I was terrified of running this race. I didn't like the hurdles and I didn't like the idea of a water pit. But the race started and I got on my way. First hurdle wasn't bad, neither was the second, but as I approached the water pit, I started to panic. I jump over it, and land... HARD... right in the deep end. It was really shocking and I basically stopped moving for a few seconds. The next time around, I fell even worse, twisting my ankle and collapsing to my knees. I was neck deep in the water and it splashed up, completely soaking my head and blinding me. I tried to get up as fast as I could and wipe the water form my eyes, but I was so startled it took me a bit. At that point I was starting to build up a strong fear for these water pit steeples. And of course, to make things worse, the excessive amounts of water caused my shoelace to come untied, and I ran over half of the race in fear I was going to trip on them while trying to jump a hurdle.
But anyway, I finished the race with a not too miserable time and with two girls behind me. I technically broke the school record, but that doesn't mean much since our record was pretty terrible (I ran it in 9:08.5). When my coach was trying to talk to me I was still soaking wet and a little stunned. I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom to put on some dry clothes (which someone was smart enough to tell me to bring along). Speaking of coach, he was so pleased with my time that he said I'll be doing this for the next 4 Saturday meets. GREAT
After the track meet I went to see Mr. Devine (my piano teacher) play a gig at some 18 and over bar. I was, of course, the youngest person there. Oh yeah, and I had to pay $12 instead of $7 because I'm under 21. Anyway, the show was pretty fun, and so was hanging with my friend ZACH THE MOST ATTRACTIVE MAN ALIVE (or so he told me I had to say). Then we went to Denny's for 11pm breakfast! :D
Oh well... time to try to force myself to study AP Chemistry (which I'm really going to fail).
So Saturday was the Johnstown track meet thinggy... I woke up at 6am to get to school by 8am, and ride the bus for an hour. We arrived at about 9am, and waited for an hour and a half for the track meet to even start. My event, of course, was 41st of 44 events. So, I sat in a tent for hours and hours and hours, hiding from the raging wind and rain (and cold).
It was very unpleasant. One minute it was so windy our tent was knocked down. The next it was so sunny I had to crawl out of my blankets and take off a jacket or two (and yes there was more than one). Then, I had to try to study in the loud tent filled with what looked like a slow moving orgy, or just a pile of cozy dead bodies, either way (that was a cyanide and happiness reference right there, here's the reference pic)
To top it all off, my headphones broke so I couldn't even block them out with music. Eventually (at around 4pm) my race was getting close. Oh and what was my event you might ask? Well, I was chosen oh so nicely by my track coach to run the steeple chase. If you don't know what a steeple is... here's a lil picture for you
That, is a steeple... The race is 2000 meters long, just slightly over 5 laps around the track. For you nonathletic types, four laps is a mile. Can you guess how many steeples there are each lap? Five... there are five of them. If you were wondering what makes steeple chase worse than hurdle races... its because when you run into a hurdle, it moves with your leg so you can keep running. If you don't get over the steeple, trust me in a one on one, I'm betting on the steeple to win. And, of course, just to make things more fun and amazing *cough* they make one a WATER PIT... look
That water pit starts at about hip height and gets less deep the further away from the steeple you land.
So I checked in when they called me, warmed up, then headed to the starting line. Of course, the weather turned bad just as we were getting ready to go. Dark clouds suddenly overtook the sky and a nasty freezing wind started to blow. Yeay me! -_-
Well... lets just say I was terrified of running this race. I didn't like the hurdles and I didn't like the idea of a water pit. But the race started and I got on my way. First hurdle wasn't bad, neither was the second, but as I approached the water pit, I started to panic. I jump over it, and land... HARD... right in the deep end. It was really shocking and I basically stopped moving for a few seconds. The next time around, I fell even worse, twisting my ankle and collapsing to my knees. I was neck deep in the water and it splashed up, completely soaking my head and blinding me. I tried to get up as fast as I could and wipe the water form my eyes, but I was so startled it took me a bit. At that point I was starting to build up a strong fear for these water pit steeples. And of course, to make things worse, the excessive amounts of water caused my shoelace to come untied, and I ran over half of the race in fear I was going to trip on them while trying to jump a hurdle.
But anyway, I finished the race with a not too miserable time and with two girls behind me. I technically broke the school record, but that doesn't mean much since our record was pretty terrible (I ran it in 9:08.5). When my coach was trying to talk to me I was still soaking wet and a little stunned. I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom to put on some dry clothes (which someone was smart enough to tell me to bring along). Speaking of coach, he was so pleased with my time that he said I'll be doing this for the next 4 Saturday meets. GREAT
After the track meet I went to see Mr. Devine (my piano teacher) play a gig at some 18 and over bar. I was, of course, the youngest person there. Oh yeah, and I had to pay $12 instead of $7 because I'm under 21. Anyway, the show was pretty fun, and so was hanging with my friend ZACH THE MOST ATTRACTIVE MAN ALIVE (or so he told me I had to say). Then we went to Denny's for 11pm breakfast! :D
(Zach / Okami)
The bad part is... when I tried to stand up, my ankle hurt so badly I had to hobble. I could hardly walk by the time we got home. This morning, I literally couldn't stand until someone gave me some asprin to numb away the pain. I'm really upset about this, and scared because we have a track meet on Tuesday and Thursday. Both of which are very important meets for me to run REALLY fast in. Shit sticks....
Oh well... time to try to force myself to study AP Chemistry (which I'm really going to fail).
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Falling Deeper in the Shit
Carnegie Mellon did NOT accept me into their college. I was pushed back onto the regular waitlist... I'm fucked. There's no chance for me at this point... mother and I have officially given up.
Today was also my AP Calculus BC exam... which sucked, but like I keep telling everyone, I've lost the ability to care.
Tomorrow is my 3rd in a row test... AP English. I can't even handle this shit any more
Today in track I passed out from dehydration, though I'm also assuming it has to do with the massive amounts of stress I'm under.
I almost started crying randomly while I was sitting down in the Pool Lobby doing nothing, waiting for practice to begin. I'm just not cut out for this kinda stress.
Ah fuck CMU, fuck APs, fuck all of that
I'm gunna run away and live in the mountains
Today was also my AP Calculus BC exam... which sucked, but like I keep telling everyone, I've lost the ability to care.
Tomorrow is my 3rd in a row test... AP English. I can't even handle this shit any more
Today in track I passed out from dehydration, though I'm also assuming it has to do with the massive amounts of stress I'm under.
I almost started crying randomly while I was sitting down in the Pool Lobby doing nothing, waiting for practice to begin. I'm just not cut out for this kinda stress.
Ah fuck CMU, fuck APs, fuck all of that
I'm gunna run away and live in the mountains
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
You know it's May when
....AP tests have left me so utterly broken I can't even find the pieces
Today I learned I've been thinking of and saying a word wrong for my entire life...
I thought the word chagrin was spelled and subsequently pronounced chargin
ITS LIKE MY MIND WAS BLOWN... when I found this out, I'm actually really upset!
Also, I hate that the past tense of spell is spelled, not spelt... spelled is such an ugly sounding word, and spelt is so eloquent and nice.
*sigh* But seriously, these tests are killing me. Just the other day I was having trouble figuring out the right answer to this integral, till Izzy pointed out I had forgotten to integrate it... I HAD FORGOTTEN TO INTEGRATE AN INTEGRAL... its like forgetting to cut sliced bread and not being able to figure out why it doesn't make a good sandwich.
(also, I keep spelling sandwich as sandwhich, an interesting question of which sand I want to eat I assume, lol)
Seriously, I need it to be exactly a week from now... then all my tests will be over.
Also, I find out if I'm in CMU tomorrow evening... I don't even want to know! :(
*hides*
I've already had my mental break down, I hope it stays at that... I can't wait for summer (even if I hate the season)
Today I learned I've been thinking of and saying a word wrong for my entire life...
I thought the word chagrin was spelled and subsequently pronounced chargin
ITS LIKE MY MIND WAS BLOWN... when I found this out, I'm actually really upset!
Also, I hate that the past tense of spell is spelled, not spelt... spelled is such an ugly sounding word, and spelt is so eloquent and nice.
*sigh* But seriously, these tests are killing me. Just the other day I was having trouble figuring out the right answer to this integral, till Izzy pointed out I had forgotten to integrate it... I HAD FORGOTTEN TO INTEGRATE AN INTEGRAL... its like forgetting to cut sliced bread and not being able to figure out why it doesn't make a good sandwich.
(also, I keep spelling sandwich as sandwhich, an interesting question of which sand I want to eat I assume, lol)
Seriously, I need it to be exactly a week from now... then all my tests will be over.
Also, I find out if I'm in CMU tomorrow evening... I don't even want to know! :(
*hides*
I've already had my mental break down, I hope it stays at that... I can't wait for summer (even if I hate the season)
Sunday, May 2, 2010
NEVER Shout NEVER! Die before you do!
Oh god... oh god... oh god.... I love you Christofer Drew Ingle, you are the closest thing to a God (next to you know whooooo *heart* GW).
Today after my track meet (which I spent with Emmy) I went (with Emmy) to the AP tour 2010 at Norther Lights, featuring Never Shout Never, The Summer Set, Every Avenue, The Cab, and We The Kings....
IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING. We stood up for over 4 hours to watch this show... we were tossed around left and right in a mass of screaming women. We sweated so much our shirts could be rung out... I kinda want to write a story about it.
Holy shit I have no words to explain how amazing and wonderful Christofer Drew is... he is gorgeous, funny, cute, funny, sexy, amazing, and perfect, lol. Well, he can't beat Gee Way of course, but still!! He's pretty damn close. Oh god...
The best part was hearing him sing Emmy and my song... oh man how often do I get to experience that. Too perfect, too perfect *passes out*
Thursday, April 29, 2010
My Thoughts on DW
So I'm going to blog my thoughts as I watch the first episode of Doctor Who with our 11th Doctor
Firstly, oh HAHA, 11th hour, 11th doctor, WOW...
New theme song? I'm not a fan... it loses too much of the actual theme behind all the bells and whistles
New logo thing... meh I like it, I can get used to it...
Okay here we go...
Oh... he isn't as annoying as I'd thought... the new doctor
Amy: "Who are you?"
Doctor: "I don't know yet, I'm still cracking"
*doctor walks into tree*
Amy: "You alright?"
Doctor:"Had better days, steering's a bit off"
Another great moment...
Doctor: "Prisoner 0 is here!"
*gets smacked in face with cricket bat*
And then
My reaction: HOLY SHIT THERE'S A GIANT SNAKE THING!
Doctor: "I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everybody's aunt"
another another
Doctor: "Who da man?!!"
*silence*
Doctor: "Alright, never saying that one again"
You know it's been a long day when you don't even recognize yourself
BEST LINE OF THE WHOLE THING
Doctor: "Hello I'm the Doctor... basically... run"
Okay so now its all over... lets look at good and bad points:
Good:
Firstly, oh HAHA, 11th hour, 11th doctor, WOW...
New theme song? I'm not a fan... it loses too much of the actual theme behind all the bells and whistles
New logo thing... meh I like it, I can get used to it...
Okay here we go...
Oh... he isn't as annoying as I'd thought... the new doctor
Amy: "Who are you?"
Doctor: "I don't know yet, I'm still cracking"
*doctor walks into tree*
Amy: "You alright?"
Doctor:
Another great moment...
*gets smacked in face with cricket bat*
And then
My reaction: HOLY SHIT THERE'S A GIANT SNAKE THING!
another another
*silence*
You know it's been a long day when you don't even recognize yourself
BEST LINE OF THE WHOLE THING
Okay so now its all over... lets look at good and bad points:
Good:
- the tardis is pretty inside
- the doctor is super high energy, which suits me
- the female he chose is hawt
- he looks like bill nye with the bow tie (I don't like it)
- I don't like the new green and uglier sonic screw driver
- the tardis is not cool on the outside any more
- everything is WAY too predictable
- they keep having the bad guys give cryptic and foreboding hints at the future (it gets annoying real fast)
Track Meet
Argh I'm so exhausted from track today
I had a meet in Mechanicville today. There were so few people there it was odd. Also, it was very very windy, which is always the worst for a track meet.
Still, I had to run the 1500 (mile) and the 3000 (2 mile)... which has me so dead. They were within 30 minutes of each other, so by the time I got to the 2 mile, I was still really tired from the mile. It was honestly one of the most painful things I've ever had to push through.
Still, my mile time was 6:07 and my two mile was 13:02... and those are slower than they should be due to the wind (which literally made us move at a snails pace on the one straight away heading into the wind). My best in the mile is 5:58, and this is a new Personal Record in the two mile, woot. My mile could have been faster, but I got stuck behind this girl on my team who was running SO SLOW because she wasn't feeling well, or some BS like that... oh well, she didn't run the 2 mile, so that's why I kicked ass there.
This weekend I have a relay meet at Colonie High... which means no normal events... so who knows what I'll end up running (probably the distance medley relay). Then after that is Never Shout Never!!! <3 ALSO, I'm bringing Emmy to the meet/concert, so I'm really excited. Cept with him watching me run, I know I'll be so super nervous, I'll have to run extra hard so I look good XD We shall see how it goes!
P.S. note my aversion to anything involving school or AP tests >.>
P.P.S. I apparently got the Chinese 1 award at the language awards ceremony today. I wouldn't know personally, because I was running my lungs into submission, lol. Yeay me? (I guess this makes me the best Chinese 1 student in the whole school, more woot-ness)...
I had a meet in Mechanicville today. There were so few people there it was odd. Also, it was very very windy, which is always the worst for a track meet.
Still, I had to run the 1500 (mile) and the 3000 (2 mile)... which has me so dead. They were within 30 minutes of each other, so by the time I got to the 2 mile, I was still really tired from the mile. It was honestly one of the most painful things I've ever had to push through.
Still, my mile time was 6:07 and my two mile was 13:02... and those are slower than they should be due to the wind (which literally made us move at a snails pace on the one straight away heading into the wind). My best in the mile is 5:58, and this is a new Personal Record in the two mile, woot. My mile could have been faster, but I got stuck behind this girl on my team who was running SO SLOW because she wasn't feeling well, or some BS like that... oh well, she didn't run the 2 mile, so that's why I kicked ass there.
This weekend I have a relay meet at Colonie High... which means no normal events... so who knows what I'll end up running (probably the distance medley relay). Then after that is Never Shout Never!!! <3 ALSO, I'm bringing Emmy to the meet/concert, so I'm really excited. Cept with him watching me run, I know I'll be so super nervous, I'll have to run extra hard so I look good XD We shall see how it goes!
P.S. note my aversion to anything involving school or AP tests >.>
P.P.S. I apparently got the Chinese 1 award at the language awards ceremony today. I wouldn't know personally, because I was running my lungs into submission, lol. Yeay me? (I guess this makes me the best Chinese 1 student in the whole school, more woot-ness)...
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Being Too Helpful
Today I set my mother up with AIM.... omg I feel wrong.
She's HORRIBLE at it of course. The speed of my typing scares the shit out of her, she really can't handle it, it gives her a headache haha. Also, she can't type for shit, and its like watching grass grow seeing her type out a sentence. She also (of course) cannot figure anything out with AIM, and I have to add all her buddies and make her buddy lists and such.
I'm not sure if its annoying or absolutely hilarious... results to follow, haha
She's HORRIBLE at it of course. The speed of my typing scares the shit out of her, she really can't handle it, it gives her a headache haha. Also, she can't type for shit, and its like watching grass grow seeing her type out a sentence. She also (of course) cannot figure anything out with AIM, and I have to add all her buddies and make her buddy lists and such.
I'm not sure if its annoying or absolutely hilarious... results to follow, haha
Monday, April 26, 2010
Problems
Okay so I've noticed this every once in a while, but its never been something I sat down to really mull over.
Everyone knows I'm bipolar (probably medically, but since I'm getting better, might as well not tell anyone, lol)... but now I think I'm bipolar-ly ADHD...
I mean right now I can't even focus... all day I've been jittery, twitchy, energetic (even after track) and all that jazz... right now my legs are both shaking violently.
I also did beyond miserably on this chem test today because I couldn't think straight to do the problems well. Right now I'm literally a half second away from crying because I HAVE to write this essay before 9pm, but I just can't force myself to sit and work on it. This is a serious issue. Usually I'm just being lazy and don't do my work, but right now I'm totally willing to do it... but my body is screaming at me to go stand up and do something else. I can't even handle it!
I don't know what to do... because I'm not like this all the time, so I can't really say I'm ADHD... I mean I'll have periods where I'm more focused than most teenagers I know! It's the inconsistency that kills me... I forget how bad I get in the low moments.
ARGH I'M JUST STALLING RIGHT NOW :(
p.s. I really really really really don't want to work... I literally did Chinese homework just to stall because its the easiest homework I have >.>
Everyone knows I'm bipolar (probably medically, but since I'm getting better, might as well not tell anyone, lol)... but now I think I'm bipolar-ly ADHD...
I mean right now I can't even focus... all day I've been jittery, twitchy, energetic (even after track) and all that jazz... right now my legs are both shaking violently.
I also did beyond miserably on this chem test today because I couldn't think straight to do the problems well. Right now I'm literally a half second away from crying because I HAVE to write this essay before 9pm, but I just can't force myself to sit and work on it. This is a serious issue. Usually I'm just being lazy and don't do my work, but right now I'm totally willing to do it... but my body is screaming at me to go stand up and do something else. I can't even handle it!
I don't know what to do... because I'm not like this all the time, so I can't really say I'm ADHD... I mean I'll have periods where I'm more focused than most teenagers I know! It's the inconsistency that kills me... I forget how bad I get in the low moments.
ARGH I'M JUST STALLING RIGHT NOW :(
p.s. I really really really really don't want to work... I literally did Chinese homework just to stall because its the easiest homework I have >.>
Sunday, April 18, 2010
College
So today I went to visit Northeastern, the last of the 3 colleges for me to visit.
As you can gather from my other visits, I didn't really hold any of them in high regard. Upon visiting Northeastern I've come to the conclusion that it is the least terrible of the 3, and I do so love the Boston area... and so I'm going to apply to Northeastern.
If my waitlist colleges pull through, it'll only mean I'm going to school in NYC or Pittsburgh. This means (obviously) that I am NOT staying local by any means for college and will be traveling far far away.
I regret to tell all my friends who I know (and hope) will miss me... but don't forget I'll be home on all the major vacations!
I'd talk more but I have a lot of work to do... :-/
As you can gather from my other visits, I didn't really hold any of them in high regard. Upon visiting Northeastern I've come to the conclusion that it is the least terrible of the 3, and I do so love the Boston area... and so I'm going to apply to Northeastern.
If my waitlist colleges pull through, it'll only mean I'm going to school in NYC or Pittsburgh. This means (obviously) that I am NOT staying local by any means for college and will be traveling far far away.
I regret to tell all my friends who I know (and hope) will miss me... but don't forget I'll be home on all the major vacations!
I'd talk more but I have a lot of work to do... :-/
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
College Visits
Ugh so I really don't want to blog these days! But here I am, I'ma do it!
So I hope you guys have been checking out my China pictures, they're really amazing and I have a lot of cute ones of me. I know there are a lot to go through, but I swear there are some real gems of China in there (wow I try to spell gems like jeams... wtf?).
Anyway, Saturday I visited RPI on their accepted
students day. I guess I like RPI, I mean it's pretty and the people are smart, and the campus is so green and familiar. (plus I'm already friends with the Pride club and the Japanese club) But, they got rid of their language programs, so until they get that back, there is NO CHANCE of me going there. Even if they bring back Japanese, I'm not sure I'd want to go because they don't have East Asian Studies at all (and probably never will).
(this is RPI, by the way) --------->
yeah it was that crowded
Today I spent the day at Union's Accepted Student Day. I was pretty disappointed with Union. All the classes I went into were basically like what I image high school at Shaker must have been like. The students didn't talk until the teacher forced a very uncomfortably long bought of silence, and usually their answers were ridiculously obvious and silly. I was shocked that these kids didn't seem any smarter (and sometimes less smart) than people in my classes right now!
Although, Union has a fantastic neuroscience program... I mean they have a psychology side, biology side, and computer science side... it's perfect! But, it doesn't matter how good a program are if the students aren't willing to meet it.
In fact the whole day was pretty hum drum... they certainly didn't take as good care of us as RPI did. Union is currently at the bottom of my list.
Oh god please let Carnegie Mellon pull through... I don't know what I'm going to do with my life if I have to sit through the utter mediocrity that is the schools I've been admitted to.
I'm not sure what I'll do if I'm forced to go to a mediocre school... I'll have to accept that I must be only... "average" if that is the best I can do... shit guys...
So I hope you guys have been checking out my China pictures, they're really amazing and I have a lot of cute ones of me. I know there are a lot to go through, but I swear there are some real gems of China in there (wow I try to spell gems like jeams... wtf?).
Anyway, Saturday I visited RPI on their accepted
students day. I guess I like RPI, I mean it's pretty and the people are smart, and the campus is so green and familiar. (plus I'm already friends with the Pride club and the Japanese club) But, they got rid of their language programs, so until they get that back, there is NO CHANCE of me going there. Even if they bring back Japanese, I'm not sure I'd want to go because they don't have East Asian Studies at all (and probably never will).(this is RPI, by the way) --------->
yeah it was that crowded
Today I spent the day at Union's Accepted Student Day. I was pretty disappointed with Union. All the classes I went into were basically like what I image high school at Shaker must have been like. The students didn't talk until the teacher forced a very uncomfortably long bought of silence, and usually their answers were ridiculously obvious and silly. I was shocked that these kids didn't seem any smarter (and sometimes less smart) than people in my classes right now!
Although, Union has a fantastic neuroscience program... I mean they have a psychology side, biology side, and computer science side... it's perfect! But, it doesn't matter how good a program are if the students aren't willing to meet it.
In fact the whole day was pretty hum drum... they certainly didn't take as good care of us as RPI did. Union is currently at the bottom of my list.
Oh god please let Carnegie Mellon pull through... I don't know what I'm going to do with my life if I have to sit through the utter mediocrity that is the schools I've been admitted to.
I'm not sure what I'll do if I'm forced to go to a mediocre school... I'll have to accept that I must be only... "average" if that is the best I can do... shit guys...
Friday, April 9, 2010
Trying
Okay so I'm trying really hard to actually blog blog... like write about shit that goes on in my life. I was reading a friend's blog (someone who has actually been updating very regularly) and I realized I started to like philosophize on here instead of just talk about my day.
I'm not sure if that's better or worse... do you guys like getting to see the inner workings of my mind? Or is it just annoying teenage drivel you'd rather skip over?
Either way I'm going to attempt to start writing normal (and maybe more often) again.
So lets see... today has sucked ass
I had to perform my declamation today. It's a 3 to 5 minute piece on basically anything (mine is kinda a story about this talker chick alexa). My piece is of course 5 minutes and it still isn't memorized at all. Thankfully, I am the master of bullshit and apparently no one realized that about half way through my declamation, I started to make shit up, haha.
I have no idea how I did, just that going almost made me puke... I don't really get how I can be about ready to pass out, yet look totally calm and collected and in character on the outside.
Anyway, that started my day off badly. But to further that, I realized I had a CRAP LOAD of homework I didn't do... all of which I was pretty sure was going to be turned in. I spent every free second of the day trying to get that stuff done. Of course, after ruining my constitution with more stress than I probably felt all junior year, I find out NEITHER class is collecting the homework, to be... "nice" to us. I flipped... not... fucking... okay.
I don't think I've been getting enough sleep lately, it isn't helping with the angst.
Other stuff went wrong, but I really don't feel like recounting how miserable the day was (I'm trying to get over it). Anyway, life is beyond stressful, and yet hardly interesting at all, a bad combo. I just can't wait to get to college... I can hopefully have more luck there
P.S. Mr. Devine promised to go out to lunch and shit with me once I graduate :3
I'm not sure if that's better or worse... do you guys like getting to see the inner workings of my mind? Or is it just annoying teenage drivel you'd rather skip over?
Either way I'm going to attempt to start writing normal (and maybe more often) again.
So lets see... today has sucked ass
I had to perform my declamation today. It's a 3 to 5 minute piece on basically anything (mine is kinda a story about this talker chick alexa). My piece is of course 5 minutes and it still isn't memorized at all. Thankfully, I am the master of bullshit and apparently no one realized that about half way through my declamation, I started to make shit up, haha.
I have no idea how I did, just that going almost made me puke... I don't really get how I can be about ready to pass out, yet look totally calm and collected and in character on the outside.
Anyway, that started my day off badly. But to further that, I realized I had a CRAP LOAD of homework I didn't do... all of which I was pretty sure was going to be turned in. I spent every free second of the day trying to get that stuff done. Of course, after ruining my constitution with more stress than I probably felt all junior year, I find out NEITHER class is collecting the homework, to be... "nice" to us. I flipped... not... fucking... okay.
I don't think I've been getting enough sleep lately, it isn't helping with the angst.
Other stuff went wrong, but I really don't feel like recounting how miserable the day was (I'm trying to get over it). Anyway, life is beyond stressful, and yet hardly interesting at all, a bad combo. I just can't wait to get to college... I can hopefully have more luck there
P.S. Mr. Devine promised to go out to lunch and shit with me once I graduate :3
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Short Update
omgomgomg... a cute boy just quoted Nevershoutnever to describe how he felt about me
"The more I think about the more I want to let you know That everything you do.. Is super fucking cute And I can't stand it."
lolol I love Nevershoutnever... and boys :P
"The more I think about the more I want to let you know That everything you do.. Is super fucking cute And I can't stand it."
lolol I love Nevershoutnever... and boys :P
A Cappella Frenzy
Firstly... its not acappella, its A CAPPELLA... okay note the space? thank you...
I'm having a momentary obsession over it...
I have one question... why is Mr. Brightside so popular for a cappella groups to do? I've seen like 3 performances in my life, and 2 did that song. There are numerous versions of it on youtube too, gosh
Mr. Brightside by The Killers
Also, MIT is the shit (so a lot of these are by a group from MIT, haha) <3
I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic at the Disco!
Shake It by Metro Station
Over My Head by The Fray (I lurve this songgggg)
OMG PORN LOLZ CHECK THIS OUT ITS TOTALLY NOT A RICKROLL (kind of?)
p.s. ta ta takoyaki, ta ta takoyaki
I'm having a momentary obsession over it...
I have one question... why is Mr. Brightside so popular for a cappella groups to do? I've seen like 3 performances in my life, and 2 did that song. There are numerous versions of it on youtube too, gosh
Mr. Brightside by The Killers
Also, MIT is the shit (so a lot of these are by a group from MIT, haha) <3
I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic at the Disco!
Shake It by Metro Station
Over My Head by The Fray (I lurve this songgggg)
OMG PORN LOLZ CHECK THIS OUT ITS TOTALLY NOT A RICKROLL (kind of?)
p.s. ta ta takoyaki, ta ta takoyaki
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Boys
Okay so its really late (not exactly, but after getting 3 hours of sleep for the past 3 days in a row I'm about ready to faint) and I feel like shit... BUT... I had this on my mind today, and I couldn't go to sleep without relating it to you guys.
So I think I've begun to understand my attraction to a lot of boys but only for short amounts of time. In fact, I came up with the perfect analogy.
Boys to me are like a piece of music. You work really hard to get it right, practicing it every day (this being equivalent to flirting). At first it isn't that fun, just work, but you keep doing it because simply playing the piano (flirting) is fun for you. Eventually you start to get better at it (the boy starts to notice you), and you feel really confident, really good. You can see your hard efforts paying off. From then on in, you're still working, but its really fun because you can see the results of your effort. Eventually, you learn the song well enough to play it almost perfectly (winning the guy). At first its the most amazing feeling in the world, nothing could compare. Being able to play that song flawlessly with all the little subtle accents and dynamics is the ultimate rush (for realz).
But after a while, the song gets boring. There's nothing left to learn about the song, so its just repeating the same thing over and over, start to finish. It stops being fun, no matter how much you liked the song. The song didn't change, but then again that's the problem. Without new music to learn, it's almost pointless.
If you leave it alone for a while then come back to it, you can squeeze out a little more of that fresh and wonderful feeling, but it'll never be the same.
This, I realize, is basically how I treat both boys and piano (lol). I love the chase, I love trying to get a guy to like me, I LOVE the flirting and going back and forth without a relationship. And I'm always aiming to make a relationship, even if I don't want to date. That's the whole point of flirting. You don't practice a song just to skip the performance and stop short of learning it perfectly. But, once I get to the point where I've gotten this boy to like me back, it goes down hill from there. Its kind of like a plan forever doomed to fail.
Now, when I can't play a song well, after trying and trying and trying... or when I flirt with a boy who just doesn't really return my feelings or is totally dismissive of them, I get frustrated beyond belief, I get emo and sad and overly emotional, almost to the point of giving up. But I know I can't, because in the end I want nothing more at that moment than to play that song. In my mind I've convinced myself there isn't another song in the world that is more beautiful.
But somehow, after you master a song, it seems less difficult, you forget how hard it was to learn in the first place (you forget the chase). So you move on to the next song (or boy), looking for a new challenge.
I think that's how I view boys, more or less... I'm not sure what else to say but yeah... this kinda means I'm fucked...
I can only hope sooner or later I will find that song that'll never get boring, or well... find me that boy that I can settle down with.
P.S. This also explains why the 2 boys I've liked more than any other were also the ones who rejected my feelings at one point or another... because they both prevented me from achieving my goal, the "chase" never ended. Well... for one of them the chase did end, but we split up and somehow the chase started all over again. So yeah... once again I'm screwed if its really true I can only like boys who don't return my feelings *rolls eyes*
So I think I've begun to understand my attraction to a lot of boys but only for short amounts of time. In fact, I came up with the perfect analogy.
Boys to me are like a piece of music. You work really hard to get it right, practicing it every day (this being equivalent to flirting). At first it isn't that fun, just work, but you keep doing it because simply playing the piano (flirting) is fun for you. Eventually you start to get better at it (the boy starts to notice you), and you feel really confident, really good. You can see your hard efforts paying off. From then on in, you're still working, but its really fun because you can see the results of your effort. Eventually, you learn the song well enough to play it almost perfectly (winning the guy). At first its the most amazing feeling in the world, nothing could compare. Being able to play that song flawlessly with all the little subtle accents and dynamics is the ultimate rush (for realz).
But after a while, the song gets boring. There's nothing left to learn about the song, so its just repeating the same thing over and over, start to finish. It stops being fun, no matter how much you liked the song. The song didn't change, but then again that's the problem. Without new music to learn, it's almost pointless.
If you leave it alone for a while then come back to it, you can squeeze out a little more of that fresh and wonderful feeling, but it'll never be the same.
This, I realize, is basically how I treat both boys and piano (lol). I love the chase, I love trying to get a guy to like me, I LOVE the flirting and going back and forth without a relationship. And I'm always aiming to make a relationship, even if I don't want to date. That's the whole point of flirting. You don't practice a song just to skip the performance and stop short of learning it perfectly. But, once I get to the point where I've gotten this boy to like me back, it goes down hill from there. Its kind of like a plan forever doomed to fail.
Now, when I can't play a song well, after trying and trying and trying... or when I flirt with a boy who just doesn't really return my feelings or is totally dismissive of them, I get frustrated beyond belief, I get emo and sad and overly emotional, almost to the point of giving up. But I know I can't, because in the end I want nothing more at that moment than to play that song. In my mind I've convinced myself there isn't another song in the world that is more beautiful.
But somehow, after you master a song, it seems less difficult, you forget how hard it was to learn in the first place (you forget the chase). So you move on to the next song (or boy), looking for a new challenge.
I think that's how I view boys, more or less... I'm not sure what else to say but yeah... this kinda means I'm fucked...
I can only hope sooner or later I will find that song that'll never get boring, or well... find me that boy that I can settle down with.
P.S. This also explains why the 2 boys I've liked more than any other were also the ones who rejected my feelings at one point or another... because they both prevented me from achieving my goal, the "chase" never ended. Well... for one of them the chase did end, but we split up and somehow the chase started all over again. So yeah... once again I'm screwed if its really true I can only like boys who don't return my feelings *rolls eyes*
Monday, April 5, 2010
The plot thickens!
Now a 9th grader (who is SO adorable) wants me to cuddle with him?! pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease
God damn it I have issues... but he's SOOOO CUTE... with the long fringy hair, skinny jeans, gauged ears, etc... you know my typeeeee <3
(like Ian, but short and blonde)
God damn it I have issues... but he's SOOOO CUTE... with the long fringy hair, skinny jeans, gauged ears, etc... you know my typeeeee <3
(like Ian, but short and blonde)
omgomgomgomgomgomg
Okay so today I had a piano lesson at 8:45... which is really late, BUT that is a prime time for the Sarah Mahar internal clock, so I was wide awake and excited. Something about that time was making me very flirtatious, and that passed along to how I treated my teacher Mr. Devine.
Oh let me briefly introduce you to Ryan Devine. He's 29, though he looks 24 and acts 20.
ANYWAY....
During my lesson I could tell he was a little off... the poor guy had a headache, he'd been there since 1pm and was starving and tired. Well, I suggested that he go to the Asian Market with me after piano... and one thing led to another and we ACTUALLY WENT together. *freaks out*
So lets get this straight... he was tired, hungry, had a headache, it was 9:30pm, he didn't actually buy anything at the market and just let me lead him around for 20 minutes AND was a total doll about it, actually listening to my incessant Asian Market babbling. XD
Argh, I was a giggly as a school girl and it was obvious! Oh what tangled webs we weave... <3
So yeah I just had to get that off my chest, lolol
P.S. Ian Shurbert was a B.I.T.C.H. to me today! Really moody and depressing and shiz... Mr. Devine always puts on a good face! Gosh! el oh el
Oh let me briefly introduce you to Ryan Devine. He's 29, though he looks 24 and acts 20.
ANYWAY....
During my lesson I could tell he was a little off... the poor guy had a headache, he'd been there since 1pm and was starving and tired. Well, I suggested that he go to the Asian Market with me after piano... and one thing led to another and we ACTUALLY WENT together. *freaks out*
So lets get this straight... he was tired, hungry, had a headache, it was 9:30pm, he didn't actually buy anything at the market and just let me lead him around for 20 minutes AND was a total doll about it, actually listening to my incessant Asian Market babbling. XD
Argh, I was a giggly as a school girl and it was obvious! Oh what tangled webs we weave... <3
So yeah I just had to get that off my chest, lolol
P.S. Ian Shurbert was a B.I.T.C.H. to me today! Really moody and depressing and shiz... Mr. Devine always puts on a good face! Gosh! el oh el
China Pictures
So I finally uploaded all my pictures from China onto the computer!
Now you have 2 options... you can go run to my photobucket and see every single picture I took (which amounts to over 1,000 probably)
Or you can see the select few I picked for my facebook page... which include photo tags and descriptions...
If you're hard core enough, I would recommend both. There were some pictures I was really hard pressed to not choose for my facebook page that I think are still worth seeing.
So yeah, I'm in the process of putting them on facebook, but here's the photobucket link
http://s15.photobucket.com/albums/a379/ashia4627/China%20Trip/
The sub-albums are (obviously) grouped by day, and you can find those on the left hand side
Now you have 2 options... you can go run to my photobucket and see every single picture I took (which amounts to over 1,000 probably)
Or you can see the select few I picked for my facebook page... which include photo tags and descriptions...
If you're hard core enough, I would recommend both. There were some pictures I was really hard pressed to not choose for my facebook page that I think are still worth seeing.
So yeah, I'm in the process of putting them on facebook, but here's the photobucket link
http://s15.photobucket.com/albums/a379/ashia4627/China%20Trip/
The sub-albums are (obviously) grouped by day, and you can find those on the left hand side
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Better Days
So mother is watching a cheap/cheesy SciFi movie... oh wait, excuse me... ScyFy or w/e the fuck they call it -_-
Apparently there are giant spiders everywhere... you can't imagine how ridiculous and silly it is to sit across the room, hearing the strange sounds coming from the tv, and my mother going OOOO, AAAAH, NOOOOO! every two seconds, lol...
And I quote (from the movie):
I dunno, today is a good day... its warm and sunny out, mother and I are teaming up to try to get me into the colleges I was wait listed at (Carnegie Mellon and NYU)... and I have a whole weekend ahead of me. Well I suppose today is already half way over, lol.
I've also decided I will practice piano every day this week and NOT slack off on it... I'm supposed to have a recital in 2 weeks and I WILL be ready for it. I also have a lesson Monday cuz my teacher is angry that I haven't been practicing, lol.
Anyway... woot? haha
P.S. I wanna change the layout of my blog... I need something brighter so it doesn't make me emo to see it
Apparently there are giant spiders everywhere... you can't imagine how ridiculous and silly it is to sit across the room, hearing the strange sounds coming from the tv, and my mother going OOOO, AAAAH, NOOOOO! every two seconds, lol...
And I quote (from the movie):
"What are they?"
"Giant spiders, what do they look like? Like in the movies with the bugs and the radiation and stuff."
I dunno, today is a good day... its warm and sunny out, mother and I are teaming up to try to get me into the colleges I was wait listed at (Carnegie Mellon and NYU)... and I have a whole weekend ahead of me. Well I suppose today is already half way over, lol.
I've also decided I will practice piano every day this week and NOT slack off on it... I'm supposed to have a recital in 2 weeks and I WILL be ready for it. I also have a lesson Monday cuz my teacher is angry that I haven't been practicing, lol.
Anyway... woot? haha
P.S. I wanna change the layout of my blog... I need something brighter so it doesn't make me emo to see it
Friday, April 2, 2010
College
If you don't know what's going on, but you've noticed how miserable I am... then let me explain
I only got into 3 of 9 colleges... RPI, Union and Northeastern... the least competitive of the colleges I applied to. I honestly only applied to them because mother wanted me to and I had no plans on actually going to any of them. I also didn't like any of them...
You see, getting into colleges for me wasn't just a decision that would affect the next 4 years of my life... getting into college was what was going to define who I am as a person. This obviously proves that my procrastination and lack of motivation won out over all other traits I may posses. So I'm not creative, or fun, or interesting, or open minded. I'm not multi-talented, unique or an individual... I'm just a procrastinator. That's all colleges see in me.
This is far more devastating than someone who just didn't have the grades, or someone who just wasn't the right fit... people are telling me that I should move on, get over it and pick a school... but what they don't realize is that this failure on my part will haunt me for the rest of my life.
You'll all have to bare with me for a while... This whole situation has me acting more bipolar than I ever have before, and its already straining some relationships. I'm sorry in advanced if I'm acting strange or bitchy or flakey... this one is going to take some time to move on from... and its not exactly something I can forget about, seeing as I'll be dealing with w/e college I choose for a long long time.
I only got into 3 of 9 colleges... RPI, Union and Northeastern... the least competitive of the colleges I applied to. I honestly only applied to them because mother wanted me to and I had no plans on actually going to any of them. I also didn't like any of them...
You see, getting into colleges for me wasn't just a decision that would affect the next 4 years of my life... getting into college was what was going to define who I am as a person. This obviously proves that my procrastination and lack of motivation won out over all other traits I may posses. So I'm not creative, or fun, or interesting, or open minded. I'm not multi-talented, unique or an individual... I'm just a procrastinator. That's all colleges see in me.
This is far more devastating than someone who just didn't have the grades, or someone who just wasn't the right fit... people are telling me that I should move on, get over it and pick a school... but what they don't realize is that this failure on my part will haunt me for the rest of my life.
You'll all have to bare with me for a while... This whole situation has me acting more bipolar than I ever have before, and its already straining some relationships. I'm sorry in advanced if I'm acting strange or bitchy or flakey... this one is going to take some time to move on from... and its not exactly something I can forget about, seeing as I'll be dealing with w/e college I choose for a long long time.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Fuck College
Okay so I can't bare to talk about what happened with colleges... so I'll just post this now very ironic and too depressing to reread poem I just got in the school paper
The Academy Road
The Academy Road
Monday, March 29, 2010
Dreams
This is the post I was too afraid to post before...
Thanks to a certain Academy boy I can't stop thinking about recently, I haven't really been worry about any other boy... so I guess that's a plus?
My conscious mind doesn't think about you. My conscious mind doesn't worry about you. My conscious mind doesn't miss you.... but obviously my subconscious mind does.
I've had a few dreams about you since you left. I really hate them...
I dream about the past and future, of good times already spent and a future I'll never have. I wake up feeling destroyed and empty. I go through the day feeling rejected and alone.
My conscious mind can't get rid of the photo of us... but it also can't even glance at the faces still smiling behind the glass.
My subconscious mind compares others to you. My subconscious mind tends to drift off, wondering what you're doing (or who). I can't handle to even say your name out loud...
I want to hate you... I want to be able to blame you for wanting to end it... I want to take the easy road out and just turn my back on you as if you'd been in the wrong. But even my conscious mind knows that you did nothing wrong...
Something has to give... and I'm afraid its going to be me
Thanks to a certain Academy boy I can't stop thinking about recently, I haven't really been worry about any other boy... so I guess that's a plus?
I Had an Idea
I was going to blog about you... but I lost the nerve... I'm too afraid to look weak.
SO INSTEAD... small China preview!
SO INSTEAD... small China preview!
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