Thoughts

So today is a blog about my thoughts instead of what is actually going on...tho I will start it out with a few updates....

Today I bought MIDNIGHT hair dye (basically its black)...but I cant use it till saturday night cuz I'm getting my passport picture taken saturday. Oh wait, thats all I wanted to say on that...anyway

So you know how say you like someone...but they don't like you back... you eventually move on right? (well usually) Then you stop liking that person and when you meet up with them later on, you (hopefully) have no romantic feelings for them any more. Well I don't seem to work that way. I never noticed this until today basically, but I never stop liking people. If I actually liked someone at one point, that never goes away. I mean I may like other people more than them, hence why our relationships wouldn't work out, but I never stop liking them.

It makes sense to me. I mean assuming the person doesn't change that much, no matter how much time you spend away from someone, they're still that same person you fell for, and I would fall for them just the same. I think this contributes to why I can't hold a stable relationship, because at one point in my life I can like multiple people at the same time (I've liked 4 people all at the same time, and its probably been more than that at one point).

Some people might say, oh well you just have to wait for the right person to come along to make you stop liking other people...but why would that happen? Just cuz I've found an amazing person doesn't make other people less attractive or less cool or fun or whatever it was that I liked about them. I mean of course if I meet someone I really REALLY like and maybe love, then it would be worth ignoring all the others so I could be dedicated to that one person....but until then does that mean I have to put up with liking too many people at once? This is not an issue I can just ignore...I mean I "lead guys on" only to move on to another guy...but its not a lie! I really did like them, and I really do like the next one, and the next and the next.... I dunno this is starting to make me seem like a sorta bad person and now no one will want to date me (thank god that's already covered).

I think its a really good idea for me to take a break from boys right now...so Caitlin is probably the best thing to happen to me in a long time...and I hope more than anything else that somehow with her being the only girl I like, I can understand better what its like to commit... but meh, I'm not off to the best of starts.... we shall see how it goes...until then I promise to take extra good care of my woman <3

Thanks for reading about my rambling guys >.<

also, for future reference, I call caitlin yome, cuz that means "my woman" in Japanese

*turns the classical music up*