Pondering on a post V-Day experience

I think I loved him, I really do...

But its better this way right?

It really must be a past tense verb too... because thinking about it as being over isn't hitting me as terribly as it did before.

Or maybe I'm trying to convince myself to avoid the heartache? Who knows... but I'd rather not think about it... glad I kept my options open...

I just wish I had moved on first (how selfish of me)

And in case my blogger viewing public is wondering... I'm not bitter about it, I don't really blame anyone besides my own disillusions... I realized that I believed in something that was impossible without really acknowledging that I was thinking it. It was this hidden drive that prevented me from moving on... now that I've realized it's there, I can reason with myself as to why such an idea is far too much for anyone in this world to hope for, including me. I'm confident now that my continued declarations to be "moving on" will be far more... realistic (and successful) now.

P.S. Wow... I can't even go back far enough in my blog to find the last time I talked about any boy besides you know who.... ahh when did I get so helpless and womanly?